As porn has grown more common,
the rape rate has plummeted.
It was higher twenty years
ago than it is today.
There is no more extreme or pernicious
act of using and abusing women as sexual
objects rather than treating them as humans.
To get rape rates as low as they now are
you’d have to go back to the 1970s.
Teen Sex in
the Family House
Women who dress in a sexually suggestive way are
guilty of indecent visual assault on a man’s
imagination, which can cause mental anguish and torment.
Don’t women understand the severity of what they’re doing?
Do they dress provocatively to please themselves,
because they want men to ogle at them,
or they know the feelings it stirs and
like the control they have over men?
Pornography has become a culturally,
even socially validated fetish.
This resonates with today’s wider
tendency to devalue the private sphere.
Contemporary popular culture increasingly
expects us to talk about our feelings in
public, encouraging us to be ‘brave’
and disclose our desires to a mass audience.
‘How do you feel?’ is now the only question
which matters on reality TV shows, where the
more you disclose, the more you are respected.
This constant demand for revelation
empties intimacy of meaning.
When private thoughts which were once only
disclosed to an intimate are communicated
to a mass audience, human relationships corrode .
Sex also changes dramatically when
it becomes a public spectacle.
Only in the private sphere is it possible
to express intensity. In public, sex
becomes just physical coupling.
She’s a Tease
Paradoxically, the more sex is transformed into
a public spectacle, the more it becomes emasculated.
Sexual desire, a very human attribute, is transformed
into a need for physical release, just another fuck.
From this perspective, the principal virtue
of pornography is that it allows physical release
to be experienced outside a human relationship.
Temptress [Liberated Woman]
Philanderer: a man who readily or frequently
enters into casual sexual relationships with women
[or other men]. A Womanizer.
Philandress: a woman who readily or frequently
enters into casual sexual relationships with men
[or other women]. A Temptress.
Call Me Slut
I get called a slut all the time. My best friend
calls me a slut like it’s my name: “Slut!”
Our staff call each other sluts
when we divulge our sexual escapades.
Web-commenting trolls call me a slut regularly
(and a bitch, cunt and plenty of other names].
I call myself a slut, like, say, last week when
I hooked up with a dude on the first date.
Slut is one of those female-centric words like bitch,
or feminist that can mean so many things that it almost
means nothing anymore. Except, it turns out, in bed.
My brain is my biggest sex organ. As much as I love
the tactile and the tangible, the easiest way to turn
me on is to whisper really filthy words in my ear,
give me an erotic story to read, or talk dirty.
I may be politically correct outside the
bedroom but nothing offends me in coitus.
Modifiers to those words are fine, too:
ignorant slut, lazy slut, spoiled slut.
The more creative the better!
But I mentioned to some friends how hot it is
when guys talk dirty to me and it turns out
some women really, really hate it.
One friend said she didn’t mind being
called naughty or bad in bed, but added
there was something about the word slut
that takes her out of the moment.
It seems for some dirty talk is OK
but the word “slut” is going too far.
Another friend said it would really bother her
if a boyfriend called her a “slut” in bed.
But she used to hook up with a guy she didn’t
have feelings for who called her a “slut”
(in edition to other dirty talk) and she was fine with it.
The only problem, she said, is “he basically couldn’t come
unless he was stringing together a thousand different filthy
words. It got old after awhile.”
Could it be that some women are so used
to the disrespectful, belittling connotations
of “slut” outside of the bedroom that it’s
unpalatable for them to hear it inside the bedroom?
Is it impossible for some women to take words
that would sting if used in real life and
turn them upside down in fantasy play?
Why, then, am I OK with it?
Knowing what’s wrong/forbidden/outre ultimately
makes me more attracted to it turns me on.
Sometimes I wonder if the more taboo something
is, the more sexual it becomes to me.
Even if I don’t exactly know what the definition
of “slut” means anymore, I know I’m not one
and I know I am one in just the right doses that it
gets me all worked up when a man whispers it to me.
(Of course, it has to come in the right packaging.)
I don’t know why I’m wired this way. All I know is I am
and when it comes to dirty talk in bed that would be
inappropriate in many occasions out of bed,
I’m apparently in the minority. Though given
how much it turns me on, I can’t imagine why!
Chicks, do you like being called a slut in bed?
Why or why not? And dicks, have you ever called
a woman a slut in bed? What happened?
If you’ve never said it before, why haven’t you?
I’ve come to terms with my need for strong,
sexually dominant men who are feminists outside the bedroom for but have a taste for BDSM in it.
For years during my 20s, though, I felt ashamed
by the incongruity of my submissive sexual
desires/spanking paraphilia and my
intellectual feminist beliefs.
Sensitive to how judgmental feminists can be
about dom-sub dynamics, I till have a lot of
issues for being wired this way.
Come on, let’s be serious about this. Using slut is
like gays using queer. It’s a way of reclaiming hate words.
Calling each other slut in a friendly manner
is an attempt to take back the power of the word.
Many oppressed groups have reclaimed
words which hurt them the most.
This slur will lose its power when the
cultural assumption that female sexuality
is wrong fades away.