What needs to be considered is the role expectation plays
when a person decides if they are in fact sexually fulfilled.
There is an implicit question lurking in the shadow
of every satisfaction query: how much did you expect?
In terms of sexual satisfaction research, this implicit
question becomes especially important as expectations
for a fulfilling sexual life are charged with social,
political, and inter-personal significance.
Correlations between social background factors,
sexual ideas and assertiveness, optional relationships,
sexual practices, orgasm, and satisfaction with
sexual intercourse have a significant influence.
Here are a number of factors
which affect our expectations.
Interest in sex at a young age, a sexually
unreserved and a nonreligious childhood home,
early start of sexual life, high education,
sexual assertiveness, considering sexuality important in life…
Reciprocal feeling of love, use of sex materials,
frequent intercourse, many-sided (versatile)
sexual techniques, and frequent orgasm correlate
with finding sexual intercourse pleasurable.
Negative factors included conservative sexual attitudes,
unimportance of sexuality in life, lack of sexual
assertiveness, and use of restricted sexual techniques.
Young Women Still
Can’t Get Sexual
In the past five decades, we have veered from
informed discussion about women and their bodies
into a raunchy culture of celebrity sex videos
and zipless hookups.
Women’s desire, arousal, and satisfaction rarely
play a part in all this. Even in this “enlightened”
age, many find it difficult to acknowledge new scientific data.
We now know that female sexuality does not diminish
or weaken women, but strengthens them. Positively
experienced mind states are boosted when women
are supported by the society in which they live
and allowed to think about and anticipate rewarding
Female sexual arousal means freedom from “bad stress”
and support in relaxation. If men want women to enjoy
and fully participate, they must act on the issues
that affect a woman’s stress levels.
Thirty percent of women don’t achieve orgasm regularly,
a proportion that has not budged since The Hite Report.
Also, the rate of “hypoactive sexual desire disorder”
– a loss of libido – affects about one-third of American women.
There’s powerful scientific evidence on the mind-body
connection and sexual pleasure. If we respect both female
sexuality and the female mind, we need to discuss the
connections between the two.
It’s bewildering we still have to make a case for this
in 2020. It shows that the next sexual revolution
– the one that actually values women as leaders,
intellectuals, and sexual beings – is long overdue.
There’s More Than
One Type Of Orgasm
Does the vaginal orgasm exist? For years, sexologists have grappled with this question. The overarching conclusion is that the clitoral orgasm (whose existence no one seems to dispute) is a separate phenomenon from vaginal orgasm.
There’s plenty of evidence regarding the difference between the two main orgasms, clitoral and vaginally activated orgasm.
Not all experts agree. French gynecologist Odile Buisson argues that the internal parts of the clitoris can’t be separated from the vagina, so therefore neither can the two types of orgasm.
Essentially, she believes that a vaginal orgasm is just a clitoral orgasm achieved through slightly different means.
Other researchers make the case for a greater distinction between the two as well as the existence of other types of orgasm.
We’ll never arrive at a “how-to” for orgasm that works for every woman. However you get there, it’s different for everyone.
The kind of prescriptions you read in women’s magazines all the time [follow these 10 steps to a climax so good they’ll hear you in Paris, Texas] can cause many women more anxiety than pleasure.
Even if vaginal orgasm is more available to women than previously thought, it doesn’t work for everyone, or even most women.
Up to 75 percent of women have trouble having orgasms from vaginal penetration alone, and that 10 to 15 percent have trouble having an orgasm at all.
Yet many women still feel they’re doing something wrong if they can’t “achieve” the ecstasy that seems to come so easily to porn stars and models in perfume ads.
When women feel that they should be having a specific type of orgasm and then don’t, they can end up blaming themselves for a “problem” that isn’t necessarily a problem.
The crucial thing is not to overvalue the orgasm or make it sound as though it’s essential for normalcy or enjoyment or intimacy or maturity or femininity.
Women should stop judging their bodies based on how they experience sexual pleasure. they shouldn’t see sex as a race, a game, a duty.
Looking for the G-spot orgasm or the vaginal orgasm will dampen the pleasure of sex.
Fucking should be fun. As long as you’re enjoying yourself, who cares which body part that enjoyment comes from.
Nobody said it would be easy
Most women need about 20 minutes of clitoral or G-spot stimulation to hit the jackpot. But an estimated 24 to 37 percent of women can’t climax (and smoking, drinking, emotional disorders, medications, and menopause can make things worse).
There’s hope for the orgasmically challenged. Cognitive behavioral therapy, testosterone treatments, the herb ginkgo biloba, and the nutritional supplement ArginMax (which includes Korean ginseng, ginkgo biloba, vitamins, minerals, and an amino acid) have been shown to improve sexual satisfaction.
Pleasure for procreation
Some researchers believe that having an orgasm during sex increases the chance of conception. The theory: Oxytocin, a hormone released in peak levels during orgasm, causes uterine contractions that coax sperm toward the egg.
As if we needed another reason
Besides its obvious perks, masturbating is good for your health. Studies show that orgasm can reduce sensitivity to pain, relieve menstrual cramps, and alleviate stress—possibly due to a surge in oxytocin and dopamine.
From ancient Greece to Freud’s time, doctors stimulated orgasms in women via “medical massage” to treat the catchall female ailment known as hysteria. In the late 1800s, the vibrator was designed for the same purpose.
Live for the fuck, girl. You don’t
have to get married or move in with
every person who turns your crank.
You don’t have to settle in or settle
down with every guy who takes your fancy.
Settling down follows all the basic principles
of a relationship – monogamy, mutual interest,
friendships, coupledom. Therein lies the rut.
You need new desires, sex, fantasy fodder.
We have to escape what society expects us
to score a suitable mate.