Male Delight: Watching
Women Masturbate
For me, there’s really nothing more
trustworthy than my own hand.
I own a really nice Rabbit,
but I find myself just turning
to my hand whenever I need to.
It’s also my favorite way
to orgasm with my partner!
Once I realized that my sexual
happiness was a turn-on for my
partners too, I started involving
myself during penetrative sex.
This is easiest for me to do when
I’m on top or when my partner is
behind me, but I make it work
no matter what.
Women masturbating is a serious visual turn-on.
Men are aural and visual creatures.
That makes watching women masturbate the ultimate
in foreplay.
Think about it! What’s better than porn?
A real life woman, naked, in front of them, moaning
her way to orgasm.
The sounds you make when you’re masturbating and the sight
of you giving yourself pleasure are the perfect turn-on for a man.
Solo Sex
[Watch Her
Masturbate]
Although the path to achieving orgasm varies for
every woman, one fact remains: it’s possible
to get there in a variety of ways.
Even if the guy finishes while you’re still in the
buildup phase, you can still probably orgasm after sex.
In fact, thinking outside of the PIV [penis in vagina] box
is a good way to spice things up for both of you.
Orgasms are great no matter how they are induced, right?
Encourage Girls to Masturbate
The clitoris is the reason most women
are able to orgasm at all, yet sex-ed
programs bury its superpower in clinical
anatomical diagrams.
Maybe we’re embarrassed by the little
wishbone-shaped structure, whose only
function is to make women feel good.
The penis, on the other hand, also has
the more utilitarian responsibilities
of expelling urine and semen.
In the first sex talk I had from
a grown-up, I was told sex was special.
It sounded a little ominous, like a big
responsibility, kind of like First Communion.
Something to take seriously and not mess up.
It was years before anyone suggested to me
it should be fun — and “fun” was far from
the focus of ninth-grade sex ed.
We learned about STIs, unplanned pregnancy,
and the basics of consent, sure, but next
to nothing about how to masturbate or have sex.
I was one of the lucky few students to receive
education that extended beyond slut-shaming
and exhortations to abstinence.
But I was on my own when it came to getting
to know my clit and its 8,000 sensory nerve endings.
Even those who would like to see pleasure
addressed in sex ed tend to think of its
inclusion as icing on the cake, a nice bonus.
Our collective failure to discuss the pleasure
of sex is far more sinister than prudish.
Sex-ed curriculums that omit it aren’t just
incomplete. They’re dangerous. When we neglect
to teach young women and their partners that
sex should feel good, and should be fun, it
becomes something for men to request and women to submit to.
Digital Stimulation
Watching your partner masturbate is exciting
for both of you. For the masturbator it lets
you explore exhibitionism and role play.
Treat it as ‘putting on a show.’
You may not think your partner wants to see
you masturbate. But if your partner is into
you, they’ll be excited watching you roused.
All the physical signs of it, from you erection
to your hardening nipples to the clenches of
your abdomen and quivering with pleasure.
Simultaneous Masturbation
There is this view that women are somehow victims of sexting culture and not full, eager participants.
One-on-one pornography is the most concise description of sexting. Sex has always been about fantasy and reality and the sometimes ridiculous and sometimes incredibly hot experiences that mix can engender.
The most fundamental sexual organ is the brain, as my shrink often points out to me. And masturbation – which is solitary sex based on fantasy is as old as human beings’ brains.
That’s why virtual sex is not like virtual food. You can have an orgasm in your body as well as your mind without any actual “work” in a way you cannot eat or taste something virtually.
Your sexual experiences through masturbatory fantasy can be far more satisfying and intense than the actual thing.
You know, when one of you has come and the other hasn’t, when the dog jumps on the bed in the middle of it, when one of you farts or queefs, when the word “ow” occasionally surfaces.
Or when your mind wanders for a bit and your already sated spouse has to look at the ceiling for a while and think of the skim milk that needs buying, as you plug away to get it over with.
Nothing is as over-rated as bad actual sex or as under-rated as good virtual sex. And, yes, it isn’t real in the way that a loving, physical fuck-fest with a loved partner is real.
But so what? Since when is the ideal the enemy of the good? And the fact that it isn’t real – that it’s a fantasy deriving from a sexual avatar – means it’s less perilous. It’s a form of play, the kind of activity that marks intelligent beings from those with less developed frontal cortexes.
It’s play between two fantasy partners; it victimizes no-one; it transmits no diseases; it risks no pregnancy; it renders both partners radically more equal than they would be in the actual sack.
As long as it is kosher with your partner, if you have one, it is much more moral than actual adultery, precisely because it isn’t real.
Women would be the most likely to gain sexual pleasure from this without all the attendant headaches and dangers of an actual physical, real-life sexual encounter.
Are a Lot of Women Bisexual?
They like guys, but are attracted
just as strongly to women.
Porn stars often get really excited
doing lesbian scenes tailored for men.
Would you get jealous of your
wife or girlfriend had an affair
with a woman? Or would it turn you on?
Eye tracking devices found videos of both
naked men and women caused straight women’s
pupils to dilate, signaling sexual arousal.
Even though the majority of women identified
as straight, the evidence showed that when
it comes to what turned them on, they were
either bisexual or gay, but never straight.
I Love to Fuck You
“Like do you still want to fuck me?” “Yeah.”
“Then say it.” “I love you the other way.”
“You still want to fuck me?” “Yeah.”
“But do you love it, do you still love it?”
“Yeah I do.” “What do you love. Tell me what
you love.” “To fuck you. I love to fuck you …
She remembered a time when Ted had always
insisted she open her eyes and look at him
while they were making love, how he always
kept saying love to fuck you I love to fuck you.
But now it was darkness, silence, a routine thing.
‘I love to fuck you. I don’t want
to change you at all. I just want
to be your #1 girl. I LOVE YOU.
Your Baby, Jerry.’
The shocking missive, reportedly authenticated by
a leading New York handwriting authority,
may have had the desired effect.
“I love you,” she said. “I’m sorry
I disappeared. You seemed so cold.
I couldn’t stand it.”
“I love you, too,” I whispered, not knowing what to say.
“I love to fuck you,” she continued.
“I love to fuck you too,” I hissed hoping
this would be the end of it.
Casual Fuck
He had his hands on my hips as he led me upstairs, a trek I had taken already half a dozen times.
He locked the door to his room and kissed me — a kiss that was starting to feel familiar.
In the moment right before I expected him to reach for the top button on my shirt, he stopped abruptly and said,
“Doll, we’re clear right? It’s just casual sex.”
It was the verbal summary of all the non-verbal communication that had taken place in the month since we’d met — the cheap drinks at night, the hasty exits in the mornings, the fact that he never texted earlier than 10 p.m. One thing was for sure: nobody was fooling anyone. And I kept coming back.
Forgive me for using such a personal example, but there is a point to it, I assure you. It has been argued that hook-up culture creates communication issues between people.
The inability to distinguish between the prospects of a relationship and the prospects of a casual sex partner leave us frustrated, defeated and broken.
But my story was a lesson that communication does not have to be absent in a casual sexual relationship. All the important signals were there, starting at the beginning: I went to a frat house, drank bourbon-Pepsis and played kings. I flirted.
Then I bounded upstairs with a charming and charismatic boy that had been a stranger only hours before. I’m not ashamed of it. And I knew from the beginning that such a venue did not warrant an expectation for any further interactions, even though there were more than a few.
I’m not saying that my experience holds true for everyone.
Open and direct conversation can certainly be lacking,
but that is a separate issue, independent of the
so-called “hook-up culture.”
The shortcomings in the communication skills of our peers comes from the replacement of personal interaction with electronic media and also from the fact that it’s sometimes hard to say what you mean and mean what you say.
My story was a lesson that even when the communication seems perfectly clear in the beginning, minds and hearts can be changed. Even in a world where casual sex is commonplace, we have not lost the ability — despite our best defenses — to fall in love.
I knew not by what force it happened, but when I finally told him
I was moving on, he said, “I don’t want to lose you,” and proceeded
to try to convince me to carry on a long-distance relationship with
him. I didn’t go for it.
Historically, men have always had the luxury of either taking a wife
or taking what they want from a woman and leaving, and they have been
able to get away with it. But now the playing field is leveling.
Women have just as much right to pursue sex for pleasure as men do.
But in order to take full advantage of this freedom with the maximum amount of reward, we all must be honest about our trajectories and our goals. We must be conscious of the non-verbal signals we receive and aware of the contexts we are in.
Above all, if we want to be free from having to justify the choices we make, we must respect the choices of others.