She’s Driven By Desire
If you strip away the social stigma and physical
danger involved in casual sex you’ll find women
say yes to immediate gratification as often as men.
Why are men seemingly more interested than
women in uncommitted sex and sexual variety?
It’s all down to social pressure and culture.
The ideology of love, marriage and babies.
Yet another new study indicates that women are more aroused
by strangers than turned on by situations with a steady lover.
Emotional intimacy is a great precursor to sex but you
can’t generalize. It’s not a requirement for all women.
The stereotype that men are usually the sexual initiators
may not be totally accurate. Primatologists have shown that
female monkeys are much more sexually aggressive than males.
This research combined with the interviews with women suggest
this stereotype may just be the result of our culture.
Psychologists are working to expose the ‘animal truth of female
desire. The research, which uses a plethysmograph, a miniature
bulb and light sensor placed in the vagina, suggests women’s
desire is as omnivorous as men’s.
They’re equally aroused by a range of pornography
and are far more responsive to stories involving
strangers than long-time lovers.
Yet when asked to rate their arousal, women downplay
it, particularly when the stimuli aren’t socially acceptable.
The findings suggest that women buy into the zipped-up
model of their own sexuality. Unmastered, female desire
is a tangle of complex, often contradictory impulses fed
by the mind, the heart, the images we see, things we’ve
read and been told.
‘Sarah’, a post-doctoral fellow, writes of processing her
first erotic impulses. She felt the way a man does but
understood as a woman she had to tamp those impulses down.
Fittingly, her lyrical, explicit meditation on her own desire,
a “ferocious and vulnerable” thing, defies traditional narrative
She weaves trenchant social observation throughout her book,
exploring seeming contradictions like being a feminist who
enjoys sexual submission.
Performing for a Mostly
She calls porn “misogynistic, coercive, tacky,”
but can be turned on by it.
“I imagine sex with her [me?] through his eyes.
I see myself as he might. I allow myself desire
for her through my desire for him.” Awareness of
her capacity for pleasure feeds her desire.
The new spotlight on female sexuality will make way for
a revolution among women in the next generation:.
We’re going to see more supposedly male-like behaviour,
more women picking up men, more women getting laid and
leaving, having sex without wanting to bond.
More girls up in their rooms clicking on their computer
and masturbating before they start doing homework.
It’s a tableaux destined to horrify many. But, paradoxically,
it could also pave the way to more aware, realistic marital
expectations. That includes new ways of scratching the itch
for sex with strangers.
Formality & Fornication
Casual sex requires a delicate balance:
respect, generosity and safety, coupled
with unadulterated, unabashed animalism.
You’re both graceful and a beast.
Tips for a Quickie
Sex is the perfect cure for stress and frustration.
Furthermore, an orgasm can reduce blood pressure
and have a sedative and relaxing effect.
A well-directed quickie could be
the perfect medicine for you.
How he thrusts can make or break a successful session.
Take the lead by getting on top, and move in circles
rather than up and down.
This will keep as much of the base of his penis
in contact with you as possible. Short and shallow
thrusts, rather than deep and fast, can quickly
induce an intense orgasm.
Practice Mindful Sex
Thinking too much during sex can greatly reduce the chances of having an orgasm. This is where practicing mindful sex can really help you relax into a pleasurable orgasm.”
Start by focusing on your breathing rather than on your thoughts. Every time your mind drifts away, bring your focus back to your breathing or anything that is happening in the present moment and the feelings of pleasure. This will help you relax, enjoy the moment and achieve orgasm.
Try finding your lesser-known road to orgasm. Explore deeper inside the vagina than the g-spot, just above your cervix at the innermost point of the vagina.
Pressure on this spot can instantly stimulate you and rapidly yield intense orgasmic contractions. This tactic might even facilitate the elusive female ejaculation.