Subtle Erotic:
Sense Sensation
Subtle Erotic [Google Images]
Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR) is a tingling
sensation which usually begins on the scalp and moves down
the back of the neck and upper spine.
Chills down your spine, goose bumps and frisson [accelerated
pleasure] Looking at nudes, watching sex clips or that beauty at the bar.
If you want subtle erotica stay on this site or try
Met Art. A limited amount is free.
What most men don’t understand is that flirting
with women is all about subtlety. You have to say
a lot while only saying a little.
Women know physical looks attract men. But a girl also
wants to know that you’re excited by her specifically,
not just because of her appearance or because she’s
a warm body in that moment.
She wants to feel her beauty may have sparked your
initial interest, but her personality and connection
with you is what continues to fuel your attraction.
The Brain Is an
Erogenous Zone
We want to be better lovers and understand what excites our partners. The power of touch is incredibly potent and even more so if you touch your partner in their erogenous zones.
The human body has over 4000 nerve endings and when stimulated they create an incredible sexual sensation. There are different areas of our bodies where the nerve endings are more condensed and create an even greater sexual high when stimulated.
That stereotypical toe curl that movies show during sex scenes happens for a reason — because the skin in between your toes is an erogenous zone, according to the book Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity.
Erogenous zones are areas of the body that are highly sensitive and can initiate sexual arousal, aka your sexual response cycle.
Erogenous zones break down into primary and secondary zones.
Primary erogenous zones range from the obvious, such as genitals, breasts and butts, to the slightly odd, such as the ear lobes, lips, belly buttons and even armpits.
Secondary erogenous zones can vary based on your sexual actions. When you give someone a back rub as foreplay, his or her back can become an erogenous zone.
Your brain becomes an erogenous zone when you fantasize about a certain scenario.
All of these zones play a crucial part in arousal. If paid attention to, the sexual experience will include orgasms for everyone.
There are basic differences in the way that men and women become aroused, so it may be important for you to consider how these differences apply to you. The sexual response cycle refers to the stages our bodies go through on the road to orgasm.
The stages are excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. These stages are similar in men and women, but there are some subtle differences that can play a huge role in getting both partners adequately aroused to the point of not only orgasm, but to having wholly satisfying sexual experiences.
Sex Focus from Eigenfrequenz on Vimeo.
Fucking Bourgeois Liberals
Bobo Sex
Bobo is an abbreviation of bohemian bourgeoisie. They are the pretty privileged who see themselves as progressive on a number of fronts. Sex-wise, they wholeheartedly support gays lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders.
There are bobo ‘leaders’ who hand down their their thoughts to the bobo flock. The middle-brow philosopher, Alain de Botton, is one of them.
The problem isn’t that we’re thinking too much about sex, it’s that we’re thinking about it in all the wrong ways. That’s the argument in his latest digestible treatise, “How to Think More About Sex.”
It attempts to set us straight without neutering us. It’s a bite-sized book that applies a philosophical lens to our modern sexual reality — from infidelity to impotence, intimacy to Internet porn.
But it’s no Human Sexuality textbook: De Botton, author of the bestseller “How Proust Can Change Your Life,” is more concerned with big ideas than hard evidence.
“The more closely we analyze what we consider ‘sexy,’ the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.”
This seems intuitively true and wise, doesn’t it? But desire is not so easily explained. It requires great temerity to make such pompous generalizations given that sex researchers continue to devote their lives to finding empirical evidence to answer such big questions, and such research is often highly nuanced and not easily summarized.
Then again, some truths are better told in philosophical pronouncements than in pie charts. If you get off on intelligent generalizations about sex that are made alongside highly subjective arguments about the act, “How to Think More About Sex” is absolutely the book for you.
If you have a fetish for objective, peer-reviewed fact-facts and you’re a Kinsey three on that particular scale of science-to-philosophizing, the book is at times a total turn-on, at others disappointing.
Botton takes creative liberties in imagining what a sexual preference for Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman must mean about one’s childhood.
“If we were traumatized by overly theatrical and unreliable parents, we may decide that something about Scarlett’s features suggests the she has just a little too much of a taste for excitement.”
The book has some interesting maxims, worthy of only the most refined of refrigerator doors, about our deceptions surrounding sex.
“We are universally deviant but only in relation to some highly distorted ideals of normality.”
His discussion of how we seek to overcome loneliness and isolation with sex is often no more than romantic cliché. But there are a few inspirational moments when he’s dispensing advice on everything from how to keep desire alive in long-term relationships to what to do (or not do) about adultery.
It’s like Cosmo meets Plato. Pop porn for middle-brow liberals.
No More Monogamy
Everyone Needs a Fling
Sexually cheating on someone is so loosely defined it’s essentially meaningless. Is it a violation of an agreement? How many agreements are clearly spelled out and agreed upon—as opposed to merely being assumed?
To some, cheating is looking at porn. To others, it is flirting or chatting with another person with sexual innuendo or overtures. To others, cheating is whatever scares them.
Since sex can mean anything from love to pure lust, why do we assume there is only one acceptable meaning or motive? Why do we rigidly limit ourselves and our lovers in the name of love? Is love possessing another person?
Is this insecurity ratcheted up by jealousy (the green-eyed monster)? Why must our security reside so completely in the actions and expectations of a partner, parents or friends, rather than in ourselves?
In my sex and relationship therapy practice, I get it all: couples who are angry at each other for showing any attention to anyone else, those who have brief flings, and those who carry on more emotionally involved affairs.
Some hook up on any of several sex or dating sites and have casual sex with a new lover. Others may meet someone in the produce section while checking out melons or apples.
The words we use to describe any sex beyond monogamy belie our biases and our insecurities. If we refer to a sexual act as “infidelity” or “cheating,” a breach of contract is implied. But what contract do a given couple truly agree to?
Some marriage ceremonies include “forsake all others,” but even this is unclear, although assumed for clear meaning by at least one of the parties.
Many ceremonies do not mention the entire issue, but one or both may still assume that any marriage is monogamous. If we clearly agree to monogamy, we should keep our agreement.
We do not live in a society where monogamy is the norm. Plenty of people have flings and affairs, or chat with others online, or make out with someone they met at a wild party.
We have the illusion that we live in a monogamous society, and that anyone who does not agree is heartless and close to insane.
Monogamy is stuffed down nearly everyone’s throat—unless they refuse to go along with such pressures to conform to a supposed ideal that is neither ideal nor practiced by many as part of the secret society.
Some can be happily monogamous, while others are not geared this way. Some begin as monogamous, and later develop an open marriage, become swingers or are polyamorous.
Why or how can we all be alike, when we differ in our values, preferences, fantasies and sexual desires?
Most flings are not known to a spouse or other significant other, while affairs usually come out. They are too complicated not to be detected eventually.
Some advice columnists used to say don’t tell if you have a fling, as it may relieve you of guilt if this was not part of your agreement, but it is destructive to the partner, and to the relationship. I agree with this advice.
Reality is a better basis for sexual choices than a misguided attempt to fabricate, cover up and offer an illusion of what we desire and do sexually.
Most of us are attracted to more than one person. Some of us flirt or look the other way, while others act on their attractions. Part of the excitement of being sexual is to fantasize and act on fantasies that aren’t likely to ruin our lives.
Everyone has to find the fine line between honesty and sensitivity to a partner, and between privacy and secrecy.
We all deserve some privacy to be who we are in our sexual desires and fantasies. We need to pleasure ourselves, to fantasize, and sometimes to act on our erotic thoughts with one or more willing lovers.