Many communities struggle to accept female sexuality even in today’s modern world.
While it is common to see female sexuality in pop-culture, this doesn’t necessarily reflect a universal acceptance.
Frequently, a woman’s value is tied to her “purity” or virginity.
This prejudice manifests in obvious ways, such as female genital cutting (FGC), and in more subtle ways like teaching women and girls that their worth is tied to their abstinence.
If a woman expresses sexual interest,
she’s a whore, a slut or promiscuous.
We’ve gone from cultures celebrating
female sexuality to one that stigmatizes it.
In ancient Sumeria and Babylon, the queen was
the center of the civilization.
If the queen/goddess was not sexually satisfied
by the male of her choice, it was considered a
sign that the land and its productivity and
the collective itself were in trouble.
In today’s post-modern sexual “revolution” many women
are sexually frustrated because of religious considerations,
societal mores and beliefs imposed upon them as an aspect
of societal structure from an early age.
We have moved from cultures that celebrated
feminine sexuality to ones that stigmatize it.
How did civilizations change from the goddess society
to the male patriarchal societal structure we now see
as the most dominant perspective?
Religion had more to do with it than any “scheme”
by the male sex to suppress women. There once was an equal
respect and freedom of sexual expression between the sexes.
Christian dogma resists developmental growth.
Much of the ideal of marriage and its foundations
and definition comes from religious perspectives.
Sex is not immune to these definitions.
Societies that remained oriented to feminine values
and equity (many African and Mesoamerican tribes)
in the recent past were seen as “primitive.”
Christianity began defining “values” that denigrated
not only women but whole nationalities and races who
did not fall into this prescription of what was proper,
correct, or “right.”
There’s a profound double standard in the way
the sexes are viewed regarding sexual expression.
Prostitutes are treated as “things” because of
their sexual activity.
Men are “players”, virile, “normal” or simply
“the way males are” if they are sexually prolific.
It is the female that somehow lost the idea
that her sexuality was equally “normal”
natural or vital and positive.
The effect is from the denigration of the
feminine sexual state, that has been alienated.
Men are generally defined positively in
their sexual expression and experiences.
Women are much more likely to fear any expression
of sexuality that will define them negatively.
The differences have everything to do with power
in a culture that is steeped in hierarchy
and little to do with sex itself.
Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” is one of the greatest leaps in validating a woman’s right to be sexual.
The lyrics all emphasize one prevailing message: Nicki Minaj is sexy, she’s proud of her body and any man lucky enough to experience it certainly underwent a rigorous selection process because Minaj doesn’t settle for mediocre.
But she’s also her own woman before she’s any man’s, and she expresses this sentiment in more than words.
Take the image from the video: After peeling a banana, clad in a revealing apron, semi-transparent stockings and heels, Minaj sensually waves it around her mouth then slices it with a knife, throws it over her shoulder and snarls at the camera. In other words, she’s in control.
Then There’s This
Women Come First
Men have no feeling for the clitoris. They know more about
what’s under the hood of a car than under the clitoral hood.
The tongue is mightier than the sword. Oral sex is essential
to a woman’s pleasure. It’s the best way to lead her through
the process of arousal. Remember, she should come before you.