Turn You On

Cougars & Teenage Boys

The Yardstick Ratio of Dating

The usual heterosexual assumption for a ‘perfect’
relationship: the man should be three years
older than his girlfriend. And the theory
women lose stock value after the age of 25.

Into Older Women

I assumed that age was just as important
to everyone else. That is, until I started
sleeping with younger men.

I know that ‘boys’ have been on the ‘older woman’
trip for a long time [think The Graduate].

But if you’re a woman, until you’re actually
a cougar taking midday zumba classes and
trying to figure out if Medicaid covers boob
jobs, being the “older woman” wasn’t exactly
on your vision board when it came to leaning in.

It was actually on a birthday of mine, one a few
years past 25, that I slept with my first younger man

Boys with Benefits

It turned out to be the best thing I could do
for my dating life, my sex life, and my self-confidence.

Younger men? They’re the new older women. Talking to friends
on all sides of the aisle, it looks like I’m not alone
— dating young, even for all the jokes about MILFs and
dirty old men, has some very compelling benefits.

The Boy Wants to Experiment

Young ‘Tom’ was quiet. Very quiet. That was a nice change.
Older men spend half the time in bed telling you about
slaying dragons in the outer world.

But Tom surprised me when he suggested we trying light bondage.
He’d said five words to me total, and one of them was handcuff.

His request brought something else starkly into focus.
Until I was deeply, deeply in a committed relationship,
I was often reticent to try anything new, mainly for fear
of looking stupid. Unwittingly, this boy was liberating me.

Teenage Boys Have No Fixed Sex Habits

The handcuffs made me realise that the younger your
partner, the more open they are to being giving and game.
The best sex comes from partners up to try anything.

Tom had less experience than I, but instead of getting
nervous and embarrassed like some other people in my bed,
he was game to try things.

Without having a performance bar set by his ex-girlfriens,
I was able to let go and try new things with him
without a fear of looking stupid.

Get down and Dirty

I may be accidentally writing the book on Peter Pan
syndrome here, but the older you get, the more pressure
new relationships have right away to be “real” ones.

Full of day dates to the farmer’s market, cooking dinners
at home together, and picking out sheet sets at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Which is supposed to be great But it skips over one of
my favorite parts of dating: doing a bunch of dirty,
drunk shit together until you’re no longer embarrassed by each other.

Who Wants to be Respectable?

Who wants to worry about always being
perfect and appropriately inhibited?

Having a relationship with a younger person gives
you the plausible deniability to do multiple shots
at a bar without your friends tut-tutting.

There’s less pressure to play the bougie couple.


This one goes without saying, but cliché or not,
fucking a younger man keep you young.

With all the hormones of a teenager, but all
the shoulder muscles of a sprinter, Tom and I
did little else except watch sports and fuck.

Does he Come too Soon?

Boys tend to sprint. Yes, it can be a problem.

But they’re usually erect again after a brief pause.
Sometimes they don’t need to pull out!

An yes, I taught Tom a few tricks. How to get me roused
first, where the clitoris was, how to finger me first.
Perhaps that’s the best part of seducing a boy.
You’re the one who showed him how.

Cougar Knows How powered by YouPorn.

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