# – SHE COMES FIRST
How would you feel if a woman got you close to an orgasm,
then all of a sudden stopped, rolled over and went to sleep?
From talking to female friends informally I know there are a
few things which almost every woman wishes men did more of in bed.
#1 – GIVING HER AN ORGASM BEFORE INTERCOURSE STARTS
This is the biggest thing women wish for. Most men don’t do it. Instead, they clumsily plow straight to intercourse as fast as possible.
This means that “foreplay” usually consists of a few minutes of obligatory kissing, followed by a few minutes of obligatory breast stimulation, followed by a few minutes of obligatory cunnilingus until the ultimate goal of intercourse is reached. This isn’t what women want!
If you can give her an orgasm before you penetrate her, then it’s GUARANTEED to be good sex in her book, even if you don’t last as long as you’d like.
On top of this, giving her an orgasm will make her more responsive and MUCH more likely to have another orgasm during intercourse. Sex becomes better for you, and for her.
#2 – PAYING ATTENTION TO NON-OBVIOUS EROGENOUS ZONES
Most men only pay attention to the “obvious” spots on a woman’s body when trying to give her sexual pleasure, like the breasts, clitoris and g-spot. But women don’t want you to ONLY pay attention to these spots … they want you to pay attention to their WHOLE BODY.
This is because there are 16 other “hidden” erogenous zones on her body which can give her pleasure, and which can actually make her MORE sensitive to vaginal stimulation. Most men don’t know about these … but if you’re one of the rare men who does, then she’ll be screaming your name in pleasure.
#3 – LASTING LONGER IN BED
We’ve been told that “women don’t mind if you don’t last that long in bed, as long as you’re good with your fingers” and that it’s OK for a man to only last a few minutes in bed. This is a big steaming heap of BS.
Women HATE it when a man shoots off too soon because it prevents them from having orgasms. How would you feel if a woman got YOU close to an orgasm, then all of a sudden stopped, rolled over, and went to sleep?
You need to know how to last 30 minutes in bed AT THE MINIMUM. If you really want to drive women wild, then you should learn how to last over an hour in bed. And of course you can have a “quickie” once in a while, but most of the time women will need a minimum of 30 minutes of intercourse to have multiple orgasms.
#4 – TEASING HER UNTIL SHE BEGS FOR IT
From many conversations and interviews with women I know the typical man in bed does almost no teasing. He just plows forwards directly to his goal of intercourse with no finesse, just doing the minimum necessary to get to penetration.
What women want is for you do build up to a sexual action with teasing until she’s practically begging you for it. THEN give her the gratification.
For example, with oral sex most men just dive right in. What would turn her on much more is if you kiss up her inner thighs, and breathe warmly on her vagina. Then, so lightly she can barely feel it, run your tongue over her clitoris.
Do this until she’s pleading with you to give her more and THEN give her the gratification. She’ll enjoy it about a hundred times more. This leads into the next things women want more of in bed, which is…
#5 – MORE ORAL SEX
I’m constantly amazed by how many men have told me that they don’t give women oral sex that often, or that they don’t do it at all. The justification which I’ve heard so many times is “it’s OK, I’m good with my fingers.”
This is like a girl telling you “I don’t give blowjobs … but it’s OK, I’m good with my hands.” It’s just not the same. If you know how to do it right, giving her oral sex is the fastest and easiest way to give her orgasms.
Plus, once you make her finish through oral sex she’ll be MUCH more responsive during intercourse … and much more likely to go down on you. Give your girlfriend plenty of oral sex, and she will love you for it.
Is She Good in Bed?
A woman who is very “touchy”, makes direct
eye contact, stands with her legs slightly apart
or simply has facial gestures that ooze sexuality,
are often indicators she’s imaginative in bed.
Between the Sheets:
A Woman’s Perspective
There’s this cultural image of what it means to be female, and good in bed.
The image includes a lot of behavioral stuff: the way you squirm, the way you moan, being Super Excited about everything the guy wants to do, and Always Being Up for It — whatever “It” is.
When people think about “good in bed,” for a woman, that’s often what they think. This image also includes being young, thin and super-sexy, and that can be problematic.
Here’s a short list of some things I think are totally awesome:
Squirming and moaning during sex in a genuine way, out of genuine pleasure!
Acting Super-Excited when your partner wants to do something you’re actually Super Excited about!
Being up for sexual experimentation and trying new things, while keeping track of your boundaries and saying no (or calling your safe word) to sexual things you really don’t like!
Those things are great. They’re great when they happen in all kinds of sex, and I have no problem with how people experience or deal with with those things. Whether people get them from vanilla or S&M sex, or porn, or sex with multiple people, or queer sex, or whatever.
What scares me, continuously gets my goat and still occasionally makes me feel weird about sex is how easy it is to perform those three things I listed above.
Because I have always, since before I even started having sex, known exactly what I was supposed to look like while I had sex. I don’t even know how I internalized those images.
Some of them through porn, I suppose, or art or erotica or what have you; some of them by reading sex tips on the Internet or hearing the ones whispered to me by friends.