Sexual Anxiety

Sex, Lies & Insecurity

Men Exaggerate the Number of Women
They’ve Slept With [Surprise, Surprise].

There’s usually a time in relationships when the
question of how many people each person has slept
with crops up in conversation.

While on average men in opposite-sex relationships
reportedly have a higher number of sexual partners
than women, it seems they’re likely to exaggerate
when remembering their past bedroom encounters.
The reason? Feelings of sexual insecurity. [cont’d below]

INS – DREAMZ from TheBirthMusic on Vimeo.

Women are more likely to recall the exact number of people they’ve slept with.

We decided to explore the disparity between the number of sexual partners men and women claim to have had with members of the opposite sex.

Men on average have 14 sexual partners and women had an average of seven. There were three main reasons why the men polled had approximately double the number of partners.

The first was that the men had a greater tendency of reporting “extreme values”, meaning that they exaggerated their figures rather than providing definite amounts.

This was implied in the data due to the inclination of the male participants with higher numbers of sexual partners to pick round numbers when asked about their total figures.

Secondly, the women preferred to count the exact number of people that they’d slept with, which is why their answers were more accurate.

Lastly, the men and women were found to have differing stances on casual sex.

Women were less likely to describe one-night stands as “not wrong at all”, which could have consequently led to some of them omitting people who’d they’d slept with on one-offs from their final counts

Media Lies about Sex


America’s War on Sex

Sexuality has a pretty poor reputation in America. The media, cynical politicians, and various pressure groups get tremendous benefits from misinforming and frightening us.

And when someone speaks up with the facts, they’re often shouted down, dismissed as simply having a personal belief. Here are some popular beliefs about sex that science conclusively disproves — and which continue nevertheless.

The Internet
Myth: The Internet is a hotbed of sexual predators, and children are at terrible risk.

Reality: The overwhelming majority of the “unwanted sexual solicitation” on the Internet reported by young people is from their peers, and is generally benign.

Sex education
Myth: Talking about sex honestly and using the proper names for body parts inflames kids’ curiosity; teaching them about sexual decision-making and safer sex encourages them to have sex.

Reality: Young people taught comprehensive sexuality information that does not focus on promoting fear or religious messages tend to postpone their first intercourse, are more likely to use condoms the first time they have intercourse, and tend to have fewer sexual partners.

Strip clubs
Myth: Strip clubs destroy neighborhoods with crime and prostitution.

Reality: No police department in the U.S. has documented an increase in police calls or violence in neighborhoods with strip clubs when measured against comparable neighborhoods without strip clubs.

Sex offenders
Myth: Sex offenders are snarling predators with no conscience, whose behavior is so compulsive it cannot be controlled or influenced.

Reality: According to the Department of Justice, sex offenders have a strikingly lower recidivism rate than any other non-sexual felony.

Myth: Consuming pornography leads men to be more sexually violent.

Reality: According to the FBI, in the 11 years since the Internet has flooded America with porn, the rates of sexual violence have decreased.

While crimes of sexual violence are typically under-reported, there is no reason to think that under-reporting has increased; in fact, public awareness campaigns have almost certainly decreased the under-reporting.

Child sexual exploitation
Myth: Children are in danger from strangers lurking around playgrounds, parks, and similar places.

Reality: Most childhood sexual exploitation is done by someone the child knows, such as a blood relative, friend of the family, religious figure, or coach.

According to the Department of Justice, the overwhelming majority of kids who go missing are taken temporarily by a family member, typically as part of a custody dispute.

Most Americans do not want to discuss sexual issues rationally. Their sexuality poisoned by the culture, they just want their emotional pain taken away.

To people afraid of sexuality, censorship looks attractive. It appears to be a solution to the pain. This pain, this fear of sexuality, leads people to support censorship.

Talk of censorship typically leads to thoughts of pornography. But that’s only one aspect of sexual censorship. Other targets include sex education, contraceptive advertising, fiction, sex surveys, the Internet, and public nudity.

The Color Purple, Our Bodies Ourselves, and Ms. Magazine, for example, have all been banned from various high school libraries in supposedly liberal California.

It’s important to talk about the availability and restriction of all these aspects of sexuality, not just of pornography.

Sexual Performance Doubts

Even the most confident people have doubts about their bodies,
their performance in bed or what their partner is thinking of them.

These thoughts are perfectly normal,
but how do you deal with them?

It’s easier said than done but
over-thinking can kill any mood.

In the moment it’s easy to fall into that pit
of despair where you wonder if he/she thinks
your performance is alright.

You imagine you’re being awkward or
you’re trying your hardest not to be.

That continual mantra you have going on
in your head is not helping your performance.

If you’re thinking about how to stop your
self-consciousness during sex, that’s
just going to make you worse.

It’s a feedback loop which increases your anxiety.

A healthy and satisfying sex life often comes about
by being comfortable with your body and what you want.

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