Just because you’re going solo doesn’t mean
you have to forgo the girl-on-top hotness.
Straddle the arm of a stuffed chair or couch
with a thick blanket or towel draped over it.
Start by riding it with small hip movements,
slowly building momentum until you find
a pace that works for you.
If you like solid, steady pressure on your
clitoris, this move will drive you wild.
Most porn is made by men for men. It tends to focus
on penetration not pleasure. It’s through the male gaze,
without any awareness of female desire.
We’re tired of the mainstream narrative
around sex catering to one gender.
Men in our society are seen as being sexually active,
and having an uncontrollable sexual appetite.
But women are shown as either passive providers
for men or totally hyper-sexualised.
A lack of diversity and failure to show
different kinds of pleasure has a real-life
impact on people’s sex lives.
Many young women are having very risqué sex
which they regret and don’t find enjoyable.
They’re being pressured into performing
sex acts that their male partners have
seen in traditional porn.
A Young Woman’s Orgasm
‘Coming’ isn’t easy if you’re a young woman. Nearly all men can climax without difficulty, but girls just aren’t built that way. Unfortunately, not everyone knows this all-important fact.
This is partly because books, films and, most of all, internet porn paint a picture in which today’s females are hot and raring to go, and in an almost constant state of sexual ecstasy.
This inaccurate portrayal can lead to today’s teens and 20-somethings believing that there’s something wrong with them if they can’t climax to order. The truth is that most of them are absolutely normal.
Interestingly, only a generation ago many doctors believed that a high proportion of the female population simply couldn’t climax at all.
Why did they think this way? Simply because most of them had had little or no training in sexual medicine.
Also, the majority of them were so embarrassed about sex themselves that they tried to avoid discussing it with their patients.
Also, since women don’t need to climax in order to conceive, most doctors didn’t rate the importance of the female orgasm very highly.
These days, most sex therapists believe that if you can’t climax (or don’t climax easily), it’s a good idea to start by practising on your own.
This may seem obvious, but many women feel inhibited about self-pleasure and can’t help feeling that it isn’t something they should be doing.
But masturbating helps you to learn exactly which pressures and rhythms you need in order to bring you to orgasm.
Once you have learned to climax easily on your own, you can then show your partner exactly what you need in order to make you come.
Of course, this may feel embarrassing at first. But the first step in fulfillment with a partner is to communicate your feelings to him or her and also to communicate how you like your body to be touched.
When you can’t find the words, use caresses. But also try to build up a vocabulary with your partner that’s easy to use.
A lot of couples find their sex lives fail simply because they don’t have the right language. And saying: ‘Could you rub my …er …er?’ isn’t specific enough to be helpful.
Some women find achieving orgasm much easier with the help of a vibrator. Nowadays there are several excellent online mail order businesses, run by women for women, which sell good quality sex aids that really work.
At an early age, most boys learn what excites them to erection, and they figure out what to do to take an erection to its successful conclusion. It’s fair to say that in pursuit of the orgasmic high, their imagination knows no bounds.
In contrast, most girls don’t use solo play to figure out what gets their juices flowing, let alone how to stroke their clitoris to a successful release.
In fact, most girls probably have no idea that statistically speaking, they are unlikely ever to have an orgasm purely through penetrative intercourse (what most people think of as “sex”).
So while guys learn how to get themselves aroused and reach a climax, relatively few girls do. When becoming intimate with a woman for the first time, most guys have little idea of her anatomy, sexual arousal and sexual release – and sadly, the same goes for many women.
But the guy figures out damn quickly how to stimulate himself to ecstasy while with her. And hopes that in the process the earth will move for her too. Which mostly, it doesn’t.
My point is, why does the average girl expect her guy to show her how her body works sexually when in fact he usually has no clue? (And if he’s “learning” from porn in absentia of the real deal, he’s already horribly misinformed.)
All of which leads me to my list of eight good reasons why young girls should learn to masturbate:
1. If you learn how to coax, toggle and jiggle your clitoris and surrounding glorious bits to an orgasm by yourself first, you will be that much wiser when it comes to gently guiding your (potentially clueless) lover to please you.
2. Sex is healthy. It boosts the body’s immunity, reducing colds and infections, and lowers your risk of depression. Because orgasms have a healthy effect on the heart and immune system, they may increase longevity.
3. The more you have sex, the more your body will want it, because sex stimulates testosterone. Learning how to have wonderful (and multiple!) orgasms while masturbating and getting in touch with your sexual self builds desire for sex, which is important in intimate relationships.
4. Women who’ve learnt how to arouse and pleasure themselves don’t expect their lover to excite them and take them to a climax, which takes the pressure off their partner. Sexually assertive women are a turn on for most guys.
5. Once you’ve experienced the thrill of an exquisite orgasm, you’ll know the intense pleasure your body is capable of and you’ll crave more.
In a relationship, you won’t accept boring, orgasm-less sex with your lover. You can poke, tease and teach, if you need to. And most likely you will.
6. Women who aren’t shy to self-pleasure are more likely to be sexually adventurous with their partner and to keep their sex lives exciting because they’ve tasted how good it should be. And want to keep it there. A great sex life is an important part of a good relationship – while bad sex is just plain bad news.
7. Orgasms are fun – and masturbation-fuelled orgasms won’t lead to pregnancy (unless you’re into mutual masturbation and his seed spills a bit too close for comfort) or sexually-transmitted diseases (ditto). Oral sex givers can also collect some nasty STDs. In contrast, masturbation is good, clean fun.
8. And finally, orgasms relieve menstrual cramps. The cramps are the result of muscle contractions around the uterus and intestines, which can be eased by orgasms.
What’s more, women often feel a spike in desire at this time of their menstrual cycle, so a bit of manual release is an all-round win-win situation.
Psychedelic Drugs & Sex
Psychedelic drugs improve your sexual performance, enhances sensory sensitivity and intensifies your orgasms.
Almost all of the medical research with psychedelic drugs to date has been focused on curing diseases and treating illnesses.
Yet little attention has been paid to the reported ability of these remarkable substances to increase human potential and even less attention has been paid to their reputed ability to significantly enhance all aspects of human pleasure.
There may come a time a time when we will have cured our most challenging pathological conditions and have more time and resources on our hands to explore post-survival activities.
We can focus our research efforts on discovering new ways to improve our physical and mental performance. A science devoted purely to enhancing pleasure might come next and psychedelics could play a major role in this new field.
According to surveys done by the U.S. National Institute of Drug Abuse, the No. 1 reason why people use LSD is because “it’s fun.”
Tim Leary helped to popularize the use of LSD with the help of the word “ecstasy,” and sex expert Annie Sprinkle has been outspoken about the ecstatic possibilities available from combining sex and psychedelics.
Many hundreds of psychedelic trip reports have described long periods of deeply appreciating extraordinary beauty and savoring ecstatic bliss, experiences that were many orders of magnitude more intense than the subjects previously thought possible.
In research circles the unspoken and yet obvious truth about these extraordinary substances is that they’re generally safe and healthy ways to have an enormous amount of fun. There’s good reason why they’re called recreational drugs, despite being illegal.
When psychedelic research begins to integrate with applied neuroscience and advanced nanotechnology in the future, we can begin to establish a serious science of pleasure and fun.
Most likely this would begin with a study of sensory enhancement and time dilation (slowing down the perception of time), which are two of the primary effects that psychedelic drugs reliably produce.
Perhaps one day our brightest researchers and best resources will be devoted to finding new ways to enhance sexual, auditory, visual, olfactory, gustatory and tactile sensations and create undreamed of new pleasures and truly unearthly delights.
Scientific studies could explore new and better ways to improve sexual performance and further enhance sensory sensitivity, to elongate and intensify our orgasms, enlarge the spectrum of our perceptions, and deepen every dimension of our experience.
Sex, Sensuous, Sensual, Erotic
A thousand sensual feelings are emitted and at once sending out waves of climaxes which thrill the mind to even greater heights.
All sexual ecstasy has a quality of self-abandonment, of surrender to a force greater than the ego.
An openness of attention to each others thoughts can be as sexually “charged” as physical contact.
Beyond the play of the penis in the vagina lies the play of the organism in its environment.
Compared with sex under LSD, the way you’ve been making love, no matter how ecstatic the pleasure you think you get from it, is like making love to a department-store-dummy.
“Drug” means positive things, possible growth, opening up the mind, beauty, sensual awareness, religious revelation.
Each molecule is a heavenly octopus with a million floating jeweled tentacles hungry to merge. Driven by internal pressure, sexual in nature, towards union.
Forms and colors of abstract visions can be perceived as lascivious and obscene or very sensuous, sexually stimulating and seductive.
If no attempt is made to induce the orgasm by bodily motion, the interpenetration of the sexual centers becomes a channel of the most vivid psychic exchange.
In addition to being instruments of philosophic revelation, mystical unity and evolutionary insight, psychedelic drugs are very powerful aphrodisiacs.
Irrational, senile legislation preventing people from pursuing private, intimate experiences — sexual or spiritual — cannot and will not be obeyed.
The increased sensitivity and awareness enhances the pleasurable aspects of sexual experience.
The more expanded your consciousness, the farther out you can move beyond your mind, the deeper, the richer, the longer and more meaningful your sexual communion.
The orgasmic feeling, if felt deeply and strongly enough in sex, always includes an element of self-transcendence, or release.