‘Doing it’ With a pillow
or Stuffed Animal
When I was about 10 years old, my friend and I
would play a game called “boyfriends” where we
would each have a pillow for a boyfriend.
“Boyfriends” would begin with a “movie date”
where we would pretend to go on a double date
to the movies with our pillow boyfriends.
The movie date would escalate, and we’d begin
kissing our respective pillow boyfriends and
then finally dry-humping them.
It was a crude simulation of what we were
piecing together about sexuality.
We were most certainly not molesting each
other by virtue of having a sexual
exploration in the same room.
Boys are able to tell stories of boners
and masturbation publicly with impunity.
Little girls get sexually aroused too.
But being a horny little girl is a dark and
nasty secret that women have to carry round.
Our children, particularly the girls are becoming
women way faster and way earlier than us.
The evidence is hard to miss.
Children barely in their teens have
adult-sized breasts, hips and buttocks.
While most us acknowledge they’re growing up too fast,
we’re hypocritical in assuming they won’t fall prey to
the usual hormone-fueled temperaments and desires.
We can’t believe that our doe-eyed girls and boys at 11
or 12 are constantly thinking of sex and how to get it.
Sex with My Rabbit
I’m 15 and I’ve heard about girls humping their
bunnies. I’d like to try it but I don’t know how.
I’m a girl just like you and pillow humping
and stuffed animal humping is my profession.
Step one: take a stuffed animal and sit on top
Step two: take off your underwear. You would probably
want to do this before step one because the clitoral
stimulation will feel better naked.
Step three: get yourself nice and wet. Imagine about
that boy (or girl) you like and imagine grinding them
or watch some porn with a close-up pussy and penis
Step four: start stroking up and down while watching
the porn clip or imagining that person. You can go as
fast or as slow as you like. I cum every time.
The first sex talk I had with a grown-up I was
told sex was special. It sounded a little ominous,
like a big responsibility, like First Communion.
Something to take seriously and not mess up.
It was years before anyone told me it should be fun.
Yet “fun” was far from the focus of ninth-grade sex ed.
We learned about STIs, unplanned pregnancy, and
the basics of consent, sure, but next to nothing
about how to actually masturbate or have sex.
Encourage Girls to Masturbate
I was one of the lucky few students to receive education
that extended beyond slut-shaming and exhortations to
abstinence, and still I was on my own when it came to
knowing my clit and its 8,000 sensory nerve endings.
Even those who would like to see pleasure addressed in sex ed
tend to think of its inclusion as icing on the cake, a nice bonus.
Boys will probably be able to work out how to get their rocks
off without assistance, while girls can just figure out all
that pleasure stuff when they’re older, when they start buying
fancy rabbit vibrators and going to New-Agey orgasm workshops
and eventually psychotherapy, right?
Our collective failure to discuss the pleasure of sex is far
more sinister than prudish. Sex-ed curriculums that omit it
aren’t just incomplete. They’re dangerous.
When we neglect to teach young women and their partners
that sex should feel good, and should be, of all things,
fun, sex becomes something where men request and women submit
The clitoris, for example, is the reason most women are able
to orgasm at all, and yet sex-ed programs bury its superpower
in clinical anatomical diagrams.
Maybe we’re embarrassed by the little wishbone-shaped
structure, whose only function is to make women feel good.