When it comes to bedding your girl, you nail
it fast and hard, just the way she likes it.
Problem is, it’s not the way she likes it.
Try the slow groove and you may realize what
women have known for years—slow sex is better.
She said: I’m fine with a quickie,
if it pleases my sex-mate. I probably
won’t reach an orgasm this way.
But I enjoy pleasing the other. I feel a
quickie is not making love, just quick sex.
If done correctly and both of us
are really in the mood to have
quick sex, then OK I’m in the game.
Nothing gives you more of a rush than the
feeling you’re doing something you shouldn’t.
Quick little trysts can build up your sexual
intensity when you do it in an unexpected
location or on the spur of the moment.
Not everything has to be planned to be perfect.
Coming on to your fuck partner in an instant
makes him feel you can’t wait to be with him.
You have to rip off his clothes
and do it right that very minute.
You’re expressing desire
in such an immediate way.
For Fuck’s Sake!
Most of us have the sex equivalent of baked beans on toast.
If you think sex should be spontaneous, you’re probably putting up with mediocre sex. If we want fast food we go to McDonalds, but if we want a beautiful meal, we take time poring over cookbooks, buying ingredients, creating a nice atmosphere and preparing. The same goes for having great sex.
That sex should “just happen” is one of the myths we need to dispel. We should create the conditions that enable desire. People are trying to eat meals with nothing in the kitchen.
This is why so many relationships lose their sexual sparkle. But it’s possible to regain it if we take the time to refill our pantries of love, so to speak.
We have a patriarchal model for sex. There’s this idea that men are more sexual and that women aren’t into it. A women is expected to lie back and let the man pleasure himself.
It’s what some call the adolescent male masturbatory model of sex. It’s all about wham-bam sex – this testosterone-driven, libido thing.
Most people don’t actually like sex like that. And even if they do, it’s very limited. Women are pissed off with the fast and furious model of sex.
Take It Easy
Women thing jackhammer sex is worse than no sex at all. Many men see getting their partner (and themselves) to orgasm as the ultimate goal. But slow sex focuses on the art of sensual touch. It’s much more pleasing to the female form and it makes her orgasms better.
Men don’t have to hold back for hours to please a woman. All you need do is extend the session by being better with your hands and avoid the desire to recreate those POV porn scenes you watch.
Foreplay is an essential part of fucking for a woman. The more she enjoys herself, the better sex becomes for you. Not only will she be more responsive and enthusiastic, she’ll likely want more of it.
The next time you’re in bed together, treat her like a new lover and make an effort to become more knowledgeable about body.
Kiss the back of her spine and her neck. Lick her fingers. Using your fingertips and feather-light strokes to caress, explore and stroke her, tease her by almost touching her genitals then moving away.
Why She Likes It Slow
Just because a woman is wet, that doesn’t mean she’s near climax. A good rule of thumb: Take the amount of time you think she needs, and double it. If she’s ready sooner, you’ll know it.
Synchronicity is overrated. We girls don’t care when we have an orgasm—as long as we get one. The longer you stimulate us—and the slower you take things—the more likely that becomes.
Hell, sex is fun. You rush through the workday and always try to be efficient, but when it comes to play—any kind of play—make it count. She needs the break and pleasure as much as you do.
Why You’ll Benefit from Taking Your Time
Men need more time to recover from sex than women do. It’s called a “refractory period,” and there’s little you can do to speed it up. Meaning, if you get off quickly, that’s it—end of show.
Sex is better than Tylenol. According to a porn star/prostitute turned sexed educator, sex promotes the production of pain-reducing compounds called neuropeptides.
Two words: stronger orgasms. The slower you take things, and the more times you get close to the edge without going over, the more powerful the release will be when you finally climax.
The stronger the muscles that control your orgasm are, the longer you’ll last during sex. To strengthen them, contract the muscles you use to stop urinating for two seconds and release. Repeat 20-60 times daily.
Take deep breathes during sex. Forget reciting baseball stats. If you want to last longer, you need to slow your breathing down when you are close to ejaculating. Focusing on how quickly you inhale and exhale can help you avoid climaxing before you’re ready.
While women just have one G spot, men have the equivalent of two: one near the prostate, and one on top of the penis, just below the head.
That’s why it’s important to alternate between long and short strokes. You’ll last longer, excite her, and get the extra stimulation you might other wise have missed banging it like a jackhammer.