QUESTION: My lover is in another country on business. The only way to have a bit of fun together is by phone. I come easily. Not him. What can I say to him? What kind of dirty talk do men like?
ANSWER: Mastering the art of dirty talk may seem awkward and embarrassing at first but once you get the hang of it, you will find it one of the most effective ways of satisfying a lover.
You probably already know this but sometimes just saying shit in French is enough to give a person a boner. If you find your English somewhat deficient in its erotic vocabulary, going back and forth from one language to the other isn’t a bad idea.
Sometimes simply repeating a forceful and melodious phrase really helps bring a person to the place where they can focus, relax and find orgasm.
You’d be surprised at how little it takes to turn someone on with this type of repetition. While a long and involved narrative may work, sometimes a simple, “I need you to fuck me really hard right now,” telling him to get his cock out and stroke it and then repeating a few choice ideas over and over is very enticing.
The road map to ejaculation is fairly easily accessed verbally. We are often so silent during sex. Our mouths are seriously underused and being a verbal lover is something I really encourage people to explore. Not only is it a wonderful way to turn someone on, it is deeply empowering.
If you want to put something together that is more involved, write a script to bolster your confidence. Perhaps it would help to buy some erotic fiction to get some ideas.
As you are coming up with ideas, remember that repetition is very compelling. Circle back to one point with some frequency, listen to your partner’s cues and ask if they are enjoying themselves.
Let him know that you’re turned on as well and if words occasionally escape you, don’t hold back on the sounds. Be enthusiastic in your own reactions and remember that this is pure fantasy so you’re welcome to fake it with as much extravagance as you want.
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