The Money Shot. A Bigger Splash.
How about This for Naughty?
The play Intimacy has jiggling genitalia,
graphic sex, and fluids flying everywhere.
But its author, director, and stars say there’s
seriousness lurking between the sheets.
The surprise really came [wrong word, perhaps
with the almond milk. At the first preview
performance of the play, it shot forth from
actor Austen Cauldwell’s tumescent penis,
or what looked like his tumescent penis,
landing on some unfortunate audience member,
or diligent theatrical prompt, right at the front.
A tube of lubricant also flew into the stalls
as a duvet was swiftly scooped up.
The play was so sodden with sex and nudity,
and talk about sex and desire and pornography,
the audience left dazed.
Was it really just almond milk, I wanted to know
afterwards? When was a penis prosthetic used as
opposed to the real thing?
Cocks and crevices kept appearing on
TV screens. Whose were they? The director
said these were “stage secrets” he wanted
to keep. However, he revealed there
“might” be sugar in the ejaculatory mix,
“for the right consistency.”