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Reaching Her Sexual Peak

Her Sexual Prime

Women have their best sexual experiences
around 28 while men “peak” at 33.

This contradicts the conventional wisdom that women
peak sexually in their 30s, while men hit their
sexual prime at 18. Both women and men reported having
the most sex in their 20s: 25 for women, 29 for men.

These figures make sense because it takes time to learn
what you want out of sex and how to get it.

We tend to have the most sex at the start of relationships
when desire is fresh, and the best sex once we’re more
in tune with our bodies and our partner.

Despite the female sexual system being far more
complex than a man’s, women are discovering
what works and doesn’t faster than men.

Many ‘sex experts’ question the ‘sexual peak’ theory.
It’s hard to define what constitutes your sexual prime.

The speed with which your body responds is only
one measure of sexual prime. Your sexual peak
has a great deal to do with who you are as a person.

Peaking hormones do not necessarily make
for peak performance. Furthermore, physical
and sexual primes are not one in the same.

Peaks vary from person to person,
with most people realizing their
full passion potential in their
ability to feel more sexually
secure with themselves and their partners.

The upshot, it seems, is that sex
in your late twenties can be great,
but individuals’ sexual experiences,
personalities and levels of bodily
comfort differ so much. It’s hard
to declare one age the best period.

Question the Myths

Women should reject the still-repressive social and cultural expectations of how female desire should work and enjoy a sexual prime whenever you are good and ready or when opportunity permits.

You don’t have to spend all day reading old Cosmo issues in your dentist’s waiting room to know that conventional wisdom paints men as hot, horny and raring to go at 18, while women aren’t at their sizzling sexual peak until their mid-30’s.

But what does that even mean? The universe is playing a cruel star-crossed genitals joke on us? Dudes are already sexually spent by the time they are old enough to drink? OMG Cougars are real?

Of course not. It means that we took some research from 1953 about female vs male behavior and declared it the truth of all time. Put that notion under glass; it’s an antique! The new realness: “Sexual prime” is a myth.

This sexual peak myth comes from Alfred Kinsey’s data. The questions he asked were for different age groups. “What is the maximum number of orgasms you have in a given week?”

Kinsey found that 18-year old men and 35-year old women were having the most frequent orgasms. But what the data doesn’t reflect well. Why are 18-year-old men having orgasms so frequently? They’re masturbating all the time.

And for the women? In 1953 when this book was published, they were likely married, in a stable relationship and knew who they were. We know that orgasmic ability becomes more frequent with age and relationship security.

This doesn’t mean there aren’t any differences in how men and women experience sexual desire over different ages, it’s just that we’ve exaggerated the ever-loving fuck out of them. We have focused on a hormonal model for how sexual desire works rather than a more holistic one that encompasses the multi-factored aspects of desire for humans.

Better, researchers say, to think of the human sex drive as a system of peaks and valleys measured by both hormones and psychological well-being, maturity, experience, and intangible things like spirit.

When looking at human sexuality through this lens, there’s no such thing as a singular sexual prime. There’s genital prime and sexual prime.

Being young and fertile are related to genital prime — when your body and hormones are most raring to go to get it on. But sexual prime is about all the other stuff. A piece over at Shape explains that in greater depth:

If Kinsey were looking at hormonal levels alone, he’d be largely correct about sexual peaks. In men, testosterone levels reach their apex around age 18, while women’s estrogen (and fertility) hits a high-water mark during the mid- to late-20s.

This hot-and-heavy stage of sexual maturity is known as the genital prime, because it’s when the body responds most quickly to arousal (it also explains all those stereotypes about high school boys…).

A person’s genital or hormonal peak isn’t the same as his or her sexual prime. It’s difficult to predict or claim that a certain age comprises a sexual peak, because it’s different for every adult.

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