The Art of Female Masturbation

If you’re new to the pleasure
of wanking it may take time till
you figure out the best technique.

Some girls prefer using their hands,
others do better with toys, and some
people prefer sitting backwards on a
bident while the water from gets them off.

Masturbate as much as you want.
Eventually, you’ll find what’s best.

The Art
of Female
Masturbation

Fuck Yourself from Andres Zuluaga on Vimeo.

Your Can
Go Fuck Yourself

GFY: (Internet slang) Good for you (ironically).
(Internet slang) Go fuck yourself.

I love to fuck myself [masturbate].
Used only by women: fingers, vibrator, dildo
or any handy household item.

I discovered masturbation accidentally
in my pre-teen years and never looked
back (shout-out: bike seats).

While I felt no shame experimenting,
I did so within the privacy of my home.

Until I left for college. Navigating dorm life
is a minefield: When you’re sharing a room
with someone, you’re forced to walk a fine
line between prioritising your own self-care
and remaining respectful of theirs.

But sometimes, schedules collide and
things can get messy, literally.

Digital Stimulation

Watching your partner masturbate is exciting
for both of you. For the masturbator it lets
you explore exhibitionism and role play.
Treat it as ‘putting on a show.’

You may not think your partner wants to see
you masturbate. But if your partner is into
you, they’ll be excited watching you roused.

All the physical signs of it, from you erection
to your hardening nipples to the clenches of
your abdomen and quivering with pleasure.

Simultaneous
Masturbation

There is this view that women are somehow victims of sexting culture and not full, eager participants.

One-on-one pornography is the most concise description of sexting. Sex has always been about fantasy and reality and the sometimes ridiculous and sometimes incredibly hot experiences that mix can engender.

The most fundamental sexual organ is the brain, as my shrink often points out to me. And masturbation – which is solitary sex based on fantasy is as old as human beings’ brains.

That’s why virtual sex is not like virtual food. You can have an orgasm in your body as well as your mind without any actual “work” in a way you cannot eat or taste something virtually.

Your sexual experiences through masturbatory fantasy can be far more satisfying and intense than the actual thing.

You know, when one of you has come and the other hasn’t, when the dog jumps on the bed in the middle of it, when one of you farts or queefs, when the word “ow” occasionally surfaces.

Or when your mind wanders for a bit and your already sated spouse has to look at the ceiling for a while and think of the skim milk that needs buying, as you plug away to get it over with.

Nothing is as over-rated as bad actual sex or as under-rated as good virtual sex. And, yes, it isn’t real in the way that a loving, physical fuck-fest with a loved partner is real.

But so what? Since when is the ideal the enemy of the good? And the fact that it isn’t real – that it’s a fantasy deriving from a sexual avatar – means it’s less perilous. It’s a form of play, the kind of activity that marks intelligent beings from those with less developed frontal cortexes.

It’s play between two fantasy partners; it victimizes no-one; it transmits no diseases; it risks no pregnancy; it renders both partners radically more equal than they would be in the actual sack.

As long as it is kosher with your partner, if you have one, it is much more moral than actual adultery, precisely because it isn’t real.

Women would be the most likely to gain sexual pleasure from this without all the attendant headaches and dangers of an actual physical, real-life sexual encounter.

Men, for their part, love showing off their sexual prowess. Anthony Weiner may be a loser but he is not mentally ill. He’s a classic high testosterone male of the species, maximizing his sexual pleasure while minimizing the chances of actually having sex with someone other than his wife.

His fault was not telling his wife up-front and running for fricking mayor of New York. But single guys and women rightly see virtual sex as the best of all possible worlds if you want to get off without getting it on.

All this is is personal, interactive porn. On the web, it’s everywhere. In our national discourse, especially among those who came of age before the web, it is somehow necessarily foul and disgusting.

It isn’t. It’s just embarrassing if your sex talk and body pics end up being perused by the whole world (which is why a new sexting app can automatically cause your pics to evaporate after a fixed amount of time).

Instead of ranting about dickmanship, feminists should be cheering this avenue for female sexual liberation on. It isn’t what sex can be at its best. But it sure is victimless, non-coercive, often exciting sexual play.