Cunnilingus ‘comes’ from the Latin
words for vulva and tongue.
One key component to oral sex which
is tragically overlooked is rhythm.
In the world of sexual literature,
‘rhythm’ crops up again and again.
It’s the development of a good sense of rhythm
that distinguishes experienced lovers from the naive.
It’s rhythm that allows someone to
hit the edge and come like that!
Most women respond well to clitoral stimulation outside
the clitoral hood. The clitoris is often much too sensitive
to handle direct stimulation. Many guys, however, go gung ho
right on her clitoris itself, which can be really uncomfortable!
An outside approach works best. After all, the protection of
the clitoral head is exactly what the hood was designed to do.
There’s no need to go digging around underneath the clitoral
hood with your tongue to find the head – this will only
cause extreme discomfort and in some cases, even pain.
Don’t forget, however, that you must also develop
a rhythm and keep it, especially close to orgasm.
How to Bring
Him to Orgasm
Conquering fellatio is considerably less daunting.
For blow jobs, I suggest you focus on the area of
the penis that connects the shaft to the head,
otherwise known as the frenulum.
This area has abundant nerve endings and responds
well to even the most gentle of touches.
Use the tip of your tongue to glide up
and down it, and just watch what happens.
Giving a good blow job involves lots of different moves
(teasing his balls, licking the underside of his shaft,
shooting him sexy looks, to name a few), but the trick
to having him reach orgasm is rhythm.
Simply put, when you feel him getting closer, use your
hand and your mouth to keep tempo.
Remember the mantra. Rhythm, rhythm, rhythm.
Slowly does it. Experiment with different paces.
Gauge your partner’s reaction to each technique
and adopt the ones that yield the most applause,
so to speak. Everyone likes a considerate lover.
The average man can maintain genital thrusting
for two and a half minutes before ejaculation.
The average woman requires fifteen to eighteen
minutes of persistent clitoral stimulation to have
her first orgasm. That twelve-and-a-half-minute
difference is a yawning gap of frustration for women.
Mouth to Cock
Among young heterosexual partners,
it’s rare for girls to receive oral sex.
That’s both because boys are less likely
to offer it and because girls feel the
act requires a deep level of trust in
their partners.
Both reactions relate to the continued stigma that
surrounds women’s genitals, which are frequently
viewed as shameful or disgusting.
Oral Sex: Gender Difference
We’re told it’s better to give than
to receive but when it comes to oral
sex, that’s not always the case.
Girls are more than twice as likely
to go down on their partners than boys,
but they less likely to enjoy performing the act.
Young Women
Twice as Likely
to ‘Go Down’
Oral sex has become more commonplace in sexual encounters among young people. Prior to the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s, it was just considered taboo, an act reserved for homosexuals or prostitution.
Now, “going downtown” has become just as important as intercourse, with some women finding being on the receiving end to be more intimate, and a better way to reach orgasm more quickly.
When it comes to giving and receiving oral sex, does one gender find it more pleasurable than the other?Undergraduate students between the ages 18 to 24 were asked about their sexual activities in their most recent sexual encounter.
Of those who were heterosexual, and who had at least one sexual experience in the past, about 70 percent of both sexes reported having oral sex.
Oral sex was no more or less likely to happen in hookups versus committed relationships. However, more than twice as many women as men had given but not received oral sex.
These participants were asked to rate how pleasurable oral sex was on a scale from 1 (not at all pleasurable) to 4 (very pleasurable). Going down was found to be less pleasurable with casual partners than with dating or cohabitating partners.
This pattern was true among both sexes, with men and women enjoying giving and receiving oral in committed scenarios more so than in casual ones.
However, oral sex with casual partners was still deemed pleasurable. The amount of pleasure experienced was always rated above the mid-point of the scale on average, and receiving oral in particular was closer to the far end of the pleasure scale for both men and women.
Here, the two types of oral sex were not created equal. Unsurprisingly, both sexes enjoyed receiving oral more than giving oral, regardless of whether they were just hooking up or in a serious relationship.
The biggest gender difference in oral sex was the enjoyment of giving oral. More than half of men who had given cunnilingus reported enjoying it a lot, while an additional 41 percent enjoyed it somewhat, and 7 percent didn’t enjoy it much or at all.
On the other hand, only 28 percent of the women who gave fellatio found it very pleasurable; for 55 it was somewhat pleasurable; and 17 percent didn’t enjoy doing it. This pattern was more significant in casual hookups.
Unfortunately, more women are giving blowjobs, but the majority aren’t enjoying themselves. This could be attributed to women either subtly or not subtly being pressured to perform sexual acts they do not enjoy.
Another survey found half of women ages 16 to 25 had felt pressured at some point to engage in oral sex by either partners, peers, the influence of traditional gender roles, or as the result of inadequate sex education.
Meanwhile, men are performing less oral, yet they are twice more likely than women to enjoy it. Now, if more men enjoy it, then why aren’t they doing it more?
A man’s health could benefit from going down on his partner. Women produce hormones like oxytocin and DHEA, which can be transferred from their vaginas to their partners’ mouths, have protective effects against diseases such as cancer and heart disease.
Men, help bridge that gender gap, and have more orals with your partner — for your health’s sake.