Magazines and books are full of
tricks and suggestions about trying
to increase erotic charge.
But this is essentially a pragmatic answer
to an existential question, a material
approach to a deeper issue.
Are we prepared to go over the edge, risk
losing ourselves in uncontrollable sexual urges?
Are we willing to abandon the safety net?
Sexual desire has its own laws. Perhaps closeness and knowledge are the motifs of love and relationships. But the themes of distance and power are the essence of erotic arousal.
We crave the mysterious, unknown, elusive and sublime. We want to be carried away by the ecstatic. Erotic abandonment knows no reason. It refuses to respond to caution, analysis and consequences.
Erotic desire is poetry, not didactics. Those who attempt to subordinate the laws of the erotic self to those of the social self, political self, parental self or professional self, are doomed to failure.
The erotic must be met at its own place, on its own terms. The erotic zone is a creative territory in which fantasy is a central actor.
Creativity and fantasy need maximum freedom of expression and movement. We recognize that an artist whose work reflects the government’s policy is a conscripted artist.
And conscripted art is tedious. But we also recognize that our everyday social existence demands obedience and collective mobilization.
The problem seems insoluble. And perhaps it is. Some paradoxes must be carried through life unresolved.
What usually happens to us is not that we feel ourselves losing control and get frightened. The risks of exploration become too high.
We convince ourselves that the boundaries of the known territory are the limits of the existing world. Over time we lose our natural curiosity. Those who stop asking after a while lose interest.
Maybe erotic desire can flourish in our world only if we admit a truly frightening and painful truth. We’re scared of letting go. Instead, we turn back and rely on our comfortable illusion of security.
At some point during intercourse, you will experience a dissolution of your body. What remains is a fullness without boundaries. Let go into this fullness. Don’t cling to control and self and body. Be openness itself.
If you are holding back, if you are resisting being love, then simply notice what you are doing and relax. Take your time. Be compassionate with your own fears. When you are ready, even though you may be afraid, practice letting go a little bit into the endless opening of lust.
Practice trusting love itself. Allow yourself to free-fall into the vast open of love, at first for just a moment, and then for longer and longer periods of time. Anything less than this free-fall into love is only fear and it should be released, over time, bit by bit, in the practice ofsurrender.
As you open physically and emotionally in this way, now and then you may experience spasms. At that point you may often surrender more fully than him.
Let go more than you ever have before, moment by moment. Surrender yourself utterly in a free-fall of lust, holding back nothing, giving yourself completely.
Sex on the Edge
Edging is the practice of delaying orgasm by stopping just before or right at the edge of an orgasm. Also called teasing, surfing, or peaking, edging is generally used to enhance sexual pleasure or to treat certain conditions such as premature ejaculation.
Beginners should start edging 4-5 times before reaching orgasm. This may increase as you become more aware of your body and learn to recognize the signs of orgasm. While you can edge as many times as you like, but avoid doing it to the point where the act becomes uncomfortable or frustrating for you or your partne
Drive Each Other Wild
Orgasm denial, sometimes called edging, involves stimulating
your partner to the point of climax and then backing off,
and starting all over again at least one more time until
she/he reaches that cum moment.
As you can imagine, getting her/him to nearly hit
the climax again and again before actually reaching
it can be torturous, but when orgasm happens it will
be mind-blowing. Quite definitely, the earth will move.
Edging has several benefits:
- Increases orgasm intensity
- Increases duration of sexual activity
- Helps treat premature ejaculation
- Increases awareness of sexual triggers
- Helps couples find new ways of enhancing sex
- Builds greater confidence and intimacy between sexual partners
Edging has a lot to do with mindfulness.
Understanding the limits and needs of
your body can increase sexual pleasure.