Are there any sexual taboos left, any
sexual activity considered disgusting?
What’s considered sexually transgressive
[forbidden sex]? Christianity is quite clear.
All sexual relations outside marriage violate the law of chastity.
This includes intercourse; touching the private, sacred
parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing.
Arousing sexual feelings in others or yourself for the
purpose of gratification. Viewing or sending pornography.
Reading pornographic literature, deliberately dwelling
on sexual thoughts and talking or texting about sex in
an explicit manner with the intent of arousing sexual feelings.
If you’re here we can safely say those taboos
are out of the window. What’s left?
What is transgressive behavior?
Exceeding a limit or boundary, especially of social
acceptability. Relating to a genre of fiction,
filmmaking, or art characterized by graphic depictions
of behavior that violates socially acceptable norms,
often involving violence, drug use, and sexual deviancy.
Homosexuality, miscegenation [sex between
people of different races], any act going
against a law, rule or code of conduct.
Are we now enlightened? Gays, queers,
lesbians, trans people. Is there anything
left still considered sexually transgressive?
Incest and bestiality are pretty taboo.
Then there’s the ‘horror’ of pedophilia.
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Out of Control
What does all this rough sex tell
us about the current cultural moment?
It’s women writing novels and
female characters desiring it.
They’re using sadomasochistic sex
to process their personal traumas.
I recommend talking to your partner beforehand
and making sure they are up for the spanking,
the rough thrusting and even the gagging.
Some people aren’t up for it. Wouldn’t be
a huge killer if your partner just didn’t
like it and you had to stop?
So before buying anything, make sure you are
both up for trying some friendly rough sex.
Remember to let them know it won’t have to
Get nasty and dangerous. These things take
time and the build-up and experience of
trying new things will be just as exciting.
If you’re new to the world of rough sex and BDSM,
start slowly. Don’t go in for the kill right away.
This may ruin the moment and if you neither
of you enjoys it, it may put you off.
Start slowly by tying yourself or your
partner up, caressing them and driving
them wild in whatever way you know how.
This would be a good time to use a vibrator or
restraints on your partner. If you’re serious
about perfecting the whole rough sex routine,
you need to have a few tricks up your sleeve.
These are the restraints I really recommend,
they slip under your bed and make it impossible
for your partner to wriggle away:
Once your partner is warmed up, pull out a
flogger or spanker and get the blood flowing
to get them really excited.
In You Know You Want This, I found some of
the scenes so unpalatable that I had to keep putting it down.
They include a woman strangled to death as part of a sex game.
A man who imagines his penis is a knife when he has sex.
And a woman who says to the guy she is sleeping with:
“I want you to punch me in the face as hard as you can.
After you’ve punched me, when I’ve fallen down, I want
you to kick me in the stomach. And then we can have sex.”
What does all this rough sex tell us
about the current cultural moment?
It’s everywhere. More often than not
it is women writing it and female
characters desiring it.
Frequently those characters are using
sadomasochistic sex as a way of
processing their own traumas.
The #MeToo movement has shone a
light on abuse and harassment.
It’s no wonder a new generation
of women are exploring how that
manifests itself in sexual relationships.