The idea of students as out-of-control, sex-crazed
creatures, recently released from the sexual shackles
of living at home isn’t quite accurate.
Sex is a big part of university life. It’s a time
when teenagers have the freedom to explore their sexuality.
The constraints of parents and school are lifted and
the nature of the university environment provides the
opportunity for sexual experimentation.
But this doesn’t necessarily translate into promiscuity.
About a third of teens lose their virginity aged 18 or
over, while almost half have had either no partners
or only one sexual partner since starting university.
It’s evident that most universities are providing access to information and advice about sex, relationships and sexual health. There are posters on campus advertising screenings, dedicated university health centres, free condoms and nightclubs that hand out free chlamydia-testing kits.
Most students feel confident that they know where to go for information, help or tests. Despite this, students simply aren’t getting tested or accessing and acting upon the information available. Two-thirds have had unprotected sex and half the girls take the morning-after pill.
A social stigma clearly still exists for students when it comes to getting tested for sexually transmitted infections, with embarrassment often cited as the typical reason for not getting checked out.
There needs to be a change in attitude. There should be an environment where students aren’t self-conscious or concerned about judgment. One where getting STD check-ups and free contraception is matter-of-fact.
What Happens During Sex?
Kissing
Most people start their sexual relationship with kissing, and touching, which is also known as petting. This may not happen at once, and usually takes place over time, sometimes days, often weeks and maybe even months.
Also, you don’t have to move to the ‘next stage’ if you don’t want to – only do what feels comfortable and right for you.
Maybe you’ll start with kissing, and French kissing (kissing with tongues) and after a while move on to touching and fondling areas such as the breasts and the genital region.
Foreplay
Gradually as you feel closer, you might experiment with oral sex (though some people choose not to do this and others choose only to go this far). This, along with kissing and touching is known as foreplay and again, doesn’t automatically lead to full sex.
With foreplay you’ll experience what’s known as arousal. If you are a guy this is easy to see, because you will get an erection (basically this means blood will surge into the penis and cause it to become erect).
However, in a girl’s body arousal is not so obvious. Signs to look for are a slight swell in the breasts; the clitoris (this is a small pea shaped bit above where your pee comes out and is the most sensitive and sexy female spot) very slightly protruding; and a wet, slippery feeling in the genitals.
Masturbation
Masturbation is normal, healthy and a good way of exploring your body. It means touching yourself for sexual pleasure. For boys, that means rubbing the penis, and girls, rubbing the area around the clitoris (the girl’s sexual hotspot).
You can experiment to find out what feels good and it can make you ‘come’ – have an orgasm. Masturbation won’t affect your sex life in the future and you won’t go blind!
Many couples play with each others sex organs for pleasure. This is known as ‘heavy petting’. If you both do it at the same time, it is known as ‘mutual masturbation’.
It can be a very intimate experience, particularly if you don’t feel ready for full sexual intercourse.
Doing It
If you do decide to go for full sex, the next step is intercourse. This is basically penetration and means a boy will slide his penis into a girl’s vagina. By this stage the vagina should be quite naturally wet and this makes the penis enter more easily.
If a girl’s vagina is not wet it may mean she is not ready for penetration and needs more stimulation or perhaps she doesn’t want sex at all.
If either partner isn’t sure wait until you both are. If you both want sex but feel you need extra lubrication (wetness) try using KY jelly, you can buy this from any chemist.
Once the penis is inside the vagina, both of you will usually start to move together. This is known as ‘bonking’, ‘shagging’, ‘doing it’ and old-fashioned fucking. It usually carries on until the boy ejaculates.
