Women’s Sexual Desire Confuses Men
Heterosexual women’s sexual desire sometimes
confuses men. They miss it completely.
Many women don’t just want sex.
They want to feel desired first.
If a woman doesn’t feel desired, then
the sex itself may not seem so appealing.
Doesn’t everyone know how important
it is for most women to feel desired?
You’d be surprised. A lot of men have no clue
how important this is for women’s sexual desire.
How Deep Is Desire?
To feel desired, a woman may sometimes actually move away
from her partner in the hope he’ll come running after her.
That’s so foreign to the average male
mind that few understand it at all.
The Stages of Sexual Desire
Stage I – Willingness:
This is the decision to have sex for whatever reason.
You may not even want to have sex, but you could be WILLING to have sex for many reasons. Willingness, combined with sex, brings about pleasure and as pleasure is the driving aim of sex, it may be the ONLY stage of sexual desire women experience during sexual activity.
Stage II – Desire:
There are three areas of desire-emotional, physical and mental.
Emotional desire is when you have feelings about someone and you want to have sex with them because of the way you feel.
Physical desire is a physical reaction that you experience in your body.
Mental desire is what you think about doing, you want to have sex and you decide to act on those thoughts.
Stage III – Excitement:
This is the stage where you begin to respond to stimuli by sight, smell, taste, touch or fantasy. The nerves, muscles and tissues of the genitals and breasts begin to react. From here your desire can return to any of the previous stages or move on to any of the others
Stage IV – Engorgement:
This is the stage of intense sexual excitement. Your genital tissues may become engorged and erect. Wetness in your genitals/or anus increases and your nipples may become erect. You may also ejaculate at this stage.
This is an involuntary response. 3-15 genital/anal contractions occur, usually about 4/5 of a second apart, releasing the fluid from the engorged tissues. Your cervix dips down into your vagina. It is often accompanied by a rush of blood to your face/head and you may also ejaculate at this stage.
The Look in Her Eyes
Let’s talk about lust. Craving. Longing. Yearning.
Leave love out of it, or finding the right partner.
Let’s stop being so technical or polite, and start
talking about raw, naked, shameless want.
There’s one easy way to feel less despondent about the
state of the world—and to get in touch with your own
sense of optimism and possibility. You can write
about people who want things.
This is one of the main reasons why fiction is great.
It allows us to model desire. People in stories
generally have goals, even if they struggle,
even if they face setback after setback.
They have dreams and wishes and hopes.
They strive towards something that
they’ve enshrined in their hearts.
A lot of writing advice talks about motivations.
We talk endlessly about finding your character’s
motivation, and making sure your characters have
motivations that are clear to the reader.
Or if the characters are ambivalent or torn,
as is frequently the case, we understand what
they’re torn between, or what they’re ambivalent about.
But maybe instead of talking about motivation, we should
talk about desire. And ambition. And lust. Craving.
Longing. Yearning. Let’s stop being so technical or polite,
and start talking about raw, naked, shameless want.