Pain & Pleasure

Sex Theme Resort

Welcome to Pornoland!

People visit Pornoland to live out their sexual fantasies.
Some of these are common enough: group sex, voyeurism,
talking dirty, threesomes and anal penetration.

Pornoland is a kind of sexual wonderland, accessed
through holes in the real world, such as the door
of a washing machine or the hole in a drinking straw,
as well as other raunchier holes.

People visit to live out their own and other
people’s fantasies. Some of these are common
enough: group sex, voyeurism, talking dirty.

Others are more specialized, not to say physically and
literally impossible. A male-female couple swap genitalia,
a process referred to as “an inter-plasmic dual crotch transfer.

Another man gives his right arm in exchange for greater
phallic endowment, but it’s only temporary and in any
case the amputated arm develops a life of its own and
is quite a hit with the ladies.

We are in the realms of wild fantasy, perhaps
a very expensive swinger’s resort. $9,000 a day
seems to be the going rate

All the sex is consensual. There is never any violence,
cruelty or coercion, no disgust or guilt. The place
could be described as well scrubbed.

It’s an adolescent adolescent fantasy was to have
a sexual theme park where you could pick your ride
and buy a ticket for whatever perversion you fancied.

The Pornoland resort offers customers a flotilla
of Masturboats on an ornamental lake that doubles
as the lair of a Cock Ness Monster.

A female visitor skids over the lake’s
surface using her vulva as a hydroplane.
Organs enjoy unbridled lives of their own.

Women copulate with men whose heads have been
obligingly lopped off to simplify matters, and a
man who has undergone an experimental “crotchal
transfer” asks the woman who now wears his penis
to ravish him with it.

If dramatised by
the Marquis de Sade

Such scenarios would be proof of our determination
to defy biology and to scandalise our feeble creator.
But it harmlessly adds to the sum of human happiness.

There’s a reference to aircraft named “pornsuckers”
that fly around sucking up bad porn because bad
porn is bad porn. It’s depressing and drowns out good porn.

Money and Bitches from on Vimeo.

We store it, letting objectionable content settle out.
The less porn there is overall, the more likely people
are to come to our porn resort.

It’s the other side of Disneyland, where your wildest
perversions are given free rein. Get in touch with
your inner sex fiend. Book now at trump towers.

Is Porn
Better Than
Real Sex?

You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page.
It leads to a Pandora’s box of visuals. There have
probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before
I got out of bed.

Breast Pleasure

Going Down Again

The Tongue
Gives Pleasure

Porn’s Becoming the
Only Way We Have Sex

Porn’s allure and ubiquity isn’t exactly titillating news.
The question that still remains, however, is how this tsunami
of porn is affecting the libido of the American male or,
more selfishly, mine.

A sexuality counselor recently wrote that he noticed a distinct rise in the number of men approaching him with concerns about delayed ejaculation.

He attributes much of the problem to a rapid proliferation of Internet porn which leads to over-masturbation, something I’m very familiar with.

Then I read about a study that found that 25 percent of college-age men said they’d faked orgasms, which, I’ll admit, was oddly comforting to hear.

But it wasn’t until I interviewed dozens of men with varying porn-watching habits (and a few very open-minded women) that some unexpected themes began to emerge.

Porn is not only shaping men’s physical and emotional interest in sex on a very fundamental neurological level, but it’s also having a series of unexpected ripple effects on women.

For decades, hand-wringers have warned of a porn epidemic that would tear the nation’s moral fabric asunder. But if online porn has spread a sickness, it’s one that’s less like Ebola and more like a midwinter cold.

The initial symptom for a lot of guys who frequently find themselves bookmarking their favorite illicit clips appears to be a waning desire for their partners.

One guy told me, “When I get on Porntube or Youporn you could carve ice sculptures with my cock. I take a girl home from the bar, though, and I’ll be up for a minute while she’s going down on me, but once I put a condom on and we start going at it, it’s like the Challenger exploded—all the flags are at half-mast.”

Another guy told me he has no problem getting aroused when he has sex with his wife. But in order to come he’s got to resort to playing scenes in his head that he’s seen watching porn.

He says something’s got lost. He’s no longer with his wife. he’s inside his own head. Thanks to the proliferation of porn, men are back to front. Fucking has become masturbation.

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