She gave birth to her first child six years ago.
She hasn’t let her husband see her naked since.
The mother-of-four refuses to let her husband
and father or her children see her nude.
“We only have sex in the dark; if it’s during the day
my clothes are on. We never shower together. I never
get dressed in front of him.
I’m afraid he will be disgusted and be turned off by what
he sees. My saggy tummy, my stretch marks, my cellulite,
my rolls. I’m not the girl I was when we first met,
The art of sexual pleasure comes from accepting yourself
and your body. Not allowing yourself to feel vulnerable
in front of your sexual partner strengthens the experience
and allows you to fully enjoy every second.
Many people who hate the light carry a fear that if
the other person could really see them, they might
not be attracted. For the most part, this fear is
irrational. It’s all in your mind.
Your sexual partner, unlike you, likes your body as a whole,
or they would not want to become intimate with you.
Part of great sex requires developing or achieving
comfort with your own body in front of another.
To lessen the worry, start in the dark.
This way, both of you can feel each other
without the pressure of eye contact.
Explore your partner’s body. Feel all the curves.
Let no bump go untouched. Use your hands to study
the changes in texture throughout your partner’s body.
The next stage involves getting naked and being
in the light. Intimacy involves many aspects,
including feeling comfortable in front of a lover.
Many prefer lights on but dim. Personally, not a fan of
bright light in life in general unless it’s a spotlight
on me on stage or a lightshow on my eyes.
When making intimate videos, I like to have daylight
light level to maximize quality. The rest of time
I prefer it to resemble dusk. Complete darkness can be
very sexy too.
Beautiful
Bodies
The ‘ideal’ body type that society bestows on women
seems to be changing ever more quickly.
Like the insidious nature of fast fashion, where
trends come and go in the blink of an eye to keep
you buying, these rapid changes in perfect body
ideals are leaving women feeling confused,
exhausted and always inadequate.
So you worked your ass off to get that thigh gap
and bikini bridge? Too late, now you need a curvy
body with a huge butt and a narrow waist.
Adolescents
Act Out Sexual
Fantasies
A Spanking Good Time
By acting out our sexual fantasies under the right circumstances, we have the opportunity to experience our true desires and with time, work through the mastery of the conflicts behind them.
Whether it’s with a teenage lover or a friend with benefits, we connect – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – with the deepest part of our psyches, recovering what was suppressed or lost.
Whether the scenario is as conventional as romantic seduction or as robust as sex with toys, whips or ropes, we restore ourselves to wholeness bringing into alignment what we’ve uncovered about our secret desires with actual physical experience.
Sometimes this happen organically. One day we just might find ourselves falling into the arms of our lover or bent over their knee for a spanking. But setting up a specific scene with a partner may be more meaningful and satisfying.
Some partners prefer to keep the structure loose, emphasizing a few actions or fragments of stories, while others, prefer a more highly structured script laying out the scenario detail for detail.
Either way, we engage all our senses in full action – moving, talking, imagining, touching – an involvement that is ultimately both thrilling and spiritual.
When we act out our fantasies with a partner with whom we are truly sexually and otherwise compatible, we enter into an altered state, a realm in which play is supremely important, yet nothing could be more real and serious.
It is a paradox in which we ecstatically lose ourselves to passion, yet remain sublimely tethered to our deepest psychological truth, welcoming the ghosts of the past.
All the different levels of our sexuality run together and sex becomes profoundly meaningful. It is a true elixir – a cathartic experience which reconciles old conflicts and satisfies unmet needs.
Some of us may feel a particular fantasy shouldn’t be shared, that it would feel creepy or somehow destructive to act out it with a partner. You should you work through the fear, shame and guilt that holds your desire hostage.
You should establish a level of intimacy, honesty and trust with a partner that would prevent them from feeling threatened. Any anxiety or self-consciousness we may experience in anticipation of acting out fantasies will usually yield to the excitement of expressing our true nature.
My Fantasy: Watching
Girls Have Sex with
Each Other
Even talking about it excites me. It’s fun to tease your partner by lightly flicking the tip of your tongue over the whole area, just barely tickling her clit and tracing both sides of her vagina, to get warmed up (or to take an intensity break).
But there’s a lot more to our mouths than the tip of the tongue! Your tongue is three dimensional and has many different surfaces. You can lightly suck on things. You’ve got lips, too! Why should you use your whole mouth, you ask?
The clitoris is more than just the visible part we think of as “the button.” The darker pink bits in the above picture are the internal parts of the clitoris, and they also respond to sensation.
Using just the tip of your tongue isn’t going to reach all that wonderful goodness — show the rest of that structure some love! Keep in mind that even things that aren’t part of the clitoris can be pleasurable for your hookup/partner/person.
Try a bunch of different tactics: flatten your tongue and lick the whole area (like an ice cream cone!), give hard pressure with your tongue, suck on the clitoris (or suck on the clitoral hood while flicking your tongue against the clit).
Try pressing against different parts of the vulva with your lips or go in circles around the clit with your tongue. You can also tease the vaginal opening with your tongue, or get really wild and dip your tongue all the way in.
Sometimes there’s a knee-jerk tendency to respond to ‘I’m coming’ noises by starting to do what you were doing harder and faster. She’s excited and gripping your hand, you’re excited and gripping her thigh, and naturally you keep upping the ante as excitement builds.
Every person is different, of course, but in general the best thing to do is exactly what you were doing to get your partner “almost there” in the first place, instead of switching or going faster/harder — which actually requires a lot of concentration and focus. Like pretty much all of your concentration and focus.