Best Sex: Slow Build to Climax

Men seem to think that sex is in, out
and over. It’s something you stick in
a microwave, put on high heat and get
your satisfaction as quickly as possible.

Swell Desire

Most of us have the sex equivalent of baked beans on toast.

If you think sex should be spontaneous, you’re probably
putting up with mediocre sex. If we want fast food we
go to McDonalds, but if we want a beautiful meal, we
take time poring over cookbooks, buying ingredients,
creating a nice atmosphere and preparing. The same
goes for having great sex.

That sex should “just happen” is one of the myths we
need to dispel. We should create the conditions that
enable desire. People are trying to eat meals with
nothing in the kitchen.


Better-Tasting Sex

This is why so many relationships lose their sexual sparkle. But it’s possible to regain it if we take the time to refill our pantries of love, so to speak.

We have a patriarchal model for sex. There’s this idea that men are more sexual and that women aren’t into it. A women is expected to lie back and let the man pleasure himself.

Slow Arousal from Charles André Thomas on Vimeo.

It’s what some call the adolescent male masturbatory model of sex. It’s all about wham-bam sex – this testosterone-driven, libido thing.

Most people don’t actually like sex like that. And even if they do, it’s very limited. Women are pissed off with the fast and furious model of sex.

Take It Easy

Women thing jackhammer sex is worse than no sex at all. Many men see getting their partner (and themselves) to orgasm as the ultimate goal. But slow sex focuses on the art of sensual touch. It’s much more pleasing to the female form and it makes her orgasms better.

Men don’t have to hold back for hours to please a woman. All you need do is extend the session by being better with your hands and avoid the desire to recreate those POV porn scenes you watch.

Foreplay is an essential part of fucking for a woman. The more she enjoys herself, the better sex becomes for you. Not only will she be more responsive and enthusiastic, she’ll likely want more of it.

The next time you’re in bed together, treat her like a new lover and make an effort to become more knowledgeable about body.

Kiss the back of her spine and her neck. Lick her fingers. Using your fingertips and feather-light strokes to caress, explore and stroke her, tease her by almost touching her genitals then moving away.

Why She Likes It Slow

You’re fit and strong. And when it comes to bedding your girl, you nail it fast and hard, just the way she likes it. Problem is, it’s not the way she likes it. Learn more about the slow groove and you may just realize what women have known for years—slow sex is better.

Just because a woman is wet, that doesn’t mean she’s near climax. A good rule of thumb: Take the amount of time you think she needs, and double it. If she’s ready sooner, you’ll know it.

Synchronicity is overrated. We girls don’t care when we have an orgasm—as long as we get one. The longer you stimulate us—and the slower you take things—the more likely that becomes.

Hell, sex is fun. You rush through the workday and always try to be efficient, but when it comes to play—any kind of play—make it count. She needs the break and pleasure as much as you do.

Why You’ll Benefit from Taking Your Time

Men need more time to recover from sex than women do. It’s called a “refractory period,” and there’s little you can do to speed it up. Meaning, if you get off quickly, that’s it—end of show.

Sex is better than Tylenol. According to a porn star/prostitute turned sexed educator, sex promotes the production of pain-reducing compounds called neuropeptides.

Two words: stronger orgasms. The slower you take things, and the more times you get close to the edge without going over, the more powerful the release will be when you finally climax.

The stronger the muscles that control your orgasm are, the longer you’ll last during sex. To strengthen them, contract the muscles you use to stop urinating for two seconds and release. Repeat 20-60 times daily.

Take deep breathes during sex. Forget reciting baseball stats. If you want to last longer, you need to slow your breathing down when you are close to ejaculating. Focusing on how quickly you inhale and exhale can help you avoid climaxing before you’re ready.

While women just have one G spot, men have the equivalent of two: one near the prostate, and one on top of the penis, just below the head.

That’s why it’s important to alternate between long and short strokes. You’ll last longer, excite her, and get the extra stimulation you might other wise have missed banging it like a jackhammer.

Slow Tease from stop[gap] on Vimeo.

Get in the grove

When Rihanna sings, “Sex with me, so amazing” over ritzy beats, it’s pretty hard not to believe her. Taken from 2016’s ANTI, “Sex With Me” is exactly the kind of slinky R&B song that you’ll want to throw on when you want to get into the grove with your significant other.

She name-drops all the necessary components for getting down like vodka, jacuzzis and Instagram thirst traps, plus lip gloss, which definitely isn’t a reference to facial lips.

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