Feminism has ensured women no longer have to
be cautious about having sex on their terms.
As sexual matters have become much more open for
discussion, there has been a sea-change when it
comes to women asking their partner to satisfy them.
Women are far more likely to seize the sexual moment
and have one-night stands, short-lived flings, and sexually
experiment the way women in the past never would.
Adulterous Afternoon
Sex in a Hotel
Sexual Liberation
Americans really need to lighten up about teenage sex.
Religious groups claim that well-informed teens don’t
see a problem with abstinence.
Yeah, right. So all the teens out there having sex
are ignorant and suffering from crises of confidence?
I suppose that’s possible, but apart from being
question begging, it hardly seems plausible.
The desire to have sex is as natural as the desire to eat.
It may not express itself so early as the latter, but it
expresses itself much earlier than most Americans appear
to be comfortable admitting.
“It’s the responsibility of parents to talk frankly
with their adolescents about all the ramifications
of having casual sex,” say the God Squad.
But why suppose that teen sex is necessarily casual?
Teenagers fall in love, just like adults do. In fact,
they’re probably better at it because they tend
to be less suspicious and cynical than adults.
And what’s wrong with casual sex anyway? We’ve got to have
the most prudish culture on the face of the earth.
One that believes sex before marriage is a sin.
As for teens sleeping around. It’s enough to
induce cardiac arrest in Puritans across America.
She Kills the Fucking Moment
Every day, I take my wife a cup of tea in bed.
She loves this ritual and I like performing it.
However, we sometimes make love in the
mornings (after I’ve brought the tea)
and she pauses to finish her cup before
it goes cold. For me, it kills the moment.
I’m sure our love life would be more passionate
if she didn’t take this short tea break.
Far from being a passion killer, the time it takes
for her to drink her tea should add to the erotic charge.
Your wife knows that, in those moments, you are fixated
on her. Often desire is — in part, at least — narcissistic.
It is as much about being desired as it is about feeling desire.
As she watches you watching her, sipping tea, she is luxuriating
in the certainty of your appetite.
You both know what is going to happen next, but in those
few moments, the hand that holds the teacup controls the pace.
Sex isn’t a performance. You don’t need to rehearse.
Sex should feel as natural as drinking water.
It should not require confidence. Sex should happen,
because the moment is ripe. For fuck’s sake seize it.
Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock,
ripening pupils, ripening state of being.
Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to
your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to
the one on top, below, behind. We’re on fire.
Sigh, moan, laugh. It’s not about being “good in bed.”
Let your instincts, urges and whims define that.
Go with the fucking flow. Any fucking moment.
Holiday in Lesboland
Suck Me Off
I love Your Backside
As a gender studies graduate, I’ve read Foucault
and I’ve “read” Freud. I’m aware of the systems
of oppression that operate in our world and
I’m equipped to combat them.
To many, I’m the product of the longstanding
struggle for gender equality. The world is my oyster.
I ought to be the perfectly liberated woman.
But what if I told you I dedicate a fair
amount of time and energy to thinking about
the inordinate size of my ass.
What if I told you I thought negatively about
my backside, just as much as I thought about
food, friends, self-care and even sex?
How liberated is that?
