The most common autoerotic activity is masturbation.
Autoeroticism and masturbation are often used interchangeably
they’re not synonymous. Not all autoerotic behaviour is masturbatory.
Nocturnal emissions, erotic daydreams, and sexual arousal
to ‘sexually-neutral’ stimuli (music, scenery, art, risk,
spiritual reverie, etc.) are also examples of autoeroticism.
Liberating Female Masturbation
Girls Need ‘Time Alone’
When I was about 13 the girls in my class all firmly insisted that they didn’t masturbate, that it was “gross” and something that only boys did.
The exception was one girl who openly admitted that she did, and was subsequently looked at with thinly-veiled disgust.
It was somehow assumed that girls didn’t masturbate, or were just entirely incapable of doing so. For girls to admit it was to reveal something ghastly about them.
There was no explanation for “self-love” or the mythical clitoris. They were snubbed entirely, as if they had no effect on women whatsoever.
Even in high school, girls didn’t talk about it. A friend of mine admitted that she wasn’t even sure “where that thing even is”? She’d never looked for it extensively because that would’ve been “odd”.
Although there’s certainly nothing wrong with the exploration of the self, this speaks of a concept that’s been around for years.
For women to explore their sexuality and to rely on themselves for pleasure (as opposed to men) is something that shouldn’t be encouraged.
Most women feel their masturbation habits are something that needs to be kept secret, because it has always been firmly categorized as a “masculine” habit.
Boys are allowed to be in tune with their “baser” instincts, while girls are not. If they do, they’re under the pain of humiliation for doing so.
There is a need for girls to hide their masturbatory habits from men (unless they’re doing it for the male counterparts’ sexual pleasure), or even from other women as a defense mechanism.
Now, for the most part, the women in my life talk about their “alone time” openly, although I don’t think it’s regarded to be of the same “acceptable” level as male masturbation.
This is connected to the belief that female anatomy is somehow disgusting. Vaginas and all of their corresponding parts are somehow dirty and should only make an appearance during penetrative sex.
This can be seen through the hush-hush aspect of menstrual-pad commercials, joky remarks of how “disgusting” vaginas are and the secretive names given to periods themselves (Tom, Aunt Dot, having the painters in, etc).
Exactly why is female sexuality so feared? What about it is scandalous? True, there aren’t as many negative masturbation myths connected with women (no threat of hairy palms or infertility), but to blank it out completely is to betray a rather sinister view of sexuality.
Gasping for Breath
Auto-erotic asphyxia is a way of increasing sexual
excitement by restricting the oxygen supply to the brain,
usually by tightening a noose around the neck.
Colloquially, a person engaging in the
activity is sometimes called a gasper.
This type of behaviour may be a dangerous variant
of sexual masochism with its ritualised bondage themes.
There are a number of accidental autoerotic deaths.
Their bodies are typically discovered naked
and often with genitalia in hand.
They will have ejaculated shortly before death.
In the days of public hangings observers claimed
that male victims had erections, even after death.
When you rob your brain of oxygen (asphyxia),
you experience a high — euphoria, dizziness,
and lowered inhibition — before you lose consciousness.
To make their sexual experience more thrilling,
autoerotic asphyxiators masturbate while strangling
themselves with cords, ropes, scarves, and ties, or
they suffocate by sealing their heads in plastic bags.
