She Feels Herself
[Caught in the Act]
We should ‘teach’ girls how to masturbate.
It seems like a controversial thing to say.
The un-harnessing of teenage sexuality seems
detrimental and terrifying; counter intuitive
to our initial instinct to shield under 18s
from explicit ‘adult’ themes.
We tend to advise teenage girls not to indulge
in any sexual activity at all. But masturbation
and sensuality is an important and integral
part of a healthy girl’s life.
Tips from a Sex Worker
It’s normal for even the horniest among us
to feel bored during sex on occasion.
That’s okay! As long as your ennui is temporary
and not an ongoing phenomenon, there’s a workaround.
Mask your waning interest by acting aroused.
Vocals are particularly helpful here.
Whatever you do, don’t stare up at the ceiling
or lie there like a corpse.
The main benefit of faking enthusiasm is that
you avoid offending your partner.
You won’t be the first woman in the world
to pretend you’re enjoying it.
Laid Back in Vulvaland
A sex toy manufacturer has launched a worldwide
competition to find the world’s most beautiful vagina.
While the pageant prompted more than a few outraged
responses — many declared it “utterly creepy and sexist”
— one question did crop up: Who would win, and just what,
exactly, would her flawless lady bits look like?
We have an answer [so far]. Her name is Nell, she lives in
Scotland and for someone whose genitals have been
voted the most beautiful in the world,
she’s modest about her victory.
“I still do not believe I have a special vagina.
I happen to have the best picture of my vagina.
That’s it. It’s nothing less, it’s nothing more.
Feel The Real
Tantric sex is slower and more sensual than ‘ordinary sex’.
Rather than being focused on orgasms, it encourages you
to be meditative and aware during the sexual experience.
Let your partner enter you in the missionary position
and stay there without thrusting for at least 15 minutes.
This will give you both the chance to get in tune with
each others’ bodies and will make the sex more intense
when he finally starts…
in the Carribean
As a sexologist, the value of Carnival for me
goes beyond the intense sexual display,
never-ending party and exhibitionism that you see.
Those are superficial from my perspective. Carnival is
an opportunity to explore the tools our elders left us
that can be used to achieve sexual wholeness and wellness
and the responsible use and channelling of sexual energy.
Many of our narratives, our beliefs and attitudes about
sexuality are as a result of harmful colonial impositions.
They cause mental and emotional blocks that shut down
our bodies and make sex painful or uncomfortable.
Our sex is very rarely described as something to
connect us to self, or to our partner, and
definitely not to a sacredness or divinity.
Drawing from my experiences and training as a sexologist
and theatre artist, I have come to believe Carnival
gives post-colonial societies tools to reclaim our
ancestral wisdom in order to achieve sexual well-being.
I see our Carnival as a way of resisting and rebelling,
and also as a tool for catharsis and transformation.
It’s a form founded on the values, rituals, beliefs
and sensitivities of our African ancestors.
The sexuality of people of colour was viewed and treated
as pathological or diseased and animalistic in nature.
Dark bodies were abused, chained and dehumanised bodies.
Carnival empowers us to reclaim and redefine sexuality
on our own terms. We can reassert our sexuality as
something powerful, fun and liberating, and owned entirely by us.
We decide how we dress, how we dance, and with whom we dance.
We decide when and how to display any part of our bodies.
This is one form of healing.