All Sexed Up

Chocolate Sex

Dark chocolate, with its luxurious texture and
sweet-bitter taste, has become the edible
version of sex and desire.

Although scientists haven’t discovered any definitive
difference in the way men and women respond to chocolate,
conventional wisdom is that women naturally crave the stuff.

It’s no wonder, given the barrage of advertisements
depicting wild-eyed females smacking their lips,
or breaking down doors and rioting in the streets.

Once the women in the ads take their first bite,
a chocolate-induced euphoria invariably follows,
barely disguising the association of female
sexual pleasure with the dark chocolate.

For decades after this ‘food of the gods’ was brought
to Europe in the 1500s by Spanish explorers, chocolate
was promoted in medical and scientific treatises as
a stimulant, love potion, cure for impotence,
and an aid to conception.

When manufacturers began advertising fancy boxes
of chocolates at the turn of the 20th century,
they emphasized this romantic connection by
associating chocolate with female sensuality.

Ads featured flirtatious beauties holding chocolate
morsels to their lips in a tantalizing depiction
of the chaste moment just before consumption.

These days, not too many women are waiting around
for men to give them candy. Advertisements for
chocolates marketed for women’s consumption
emphasize a singular and detached idea of pleasure.

Foil-wrapped morsels with names like “Bliss” are
promoted as indulgences that women — empowered,
economically independent, desirous of pleasure
but not entanglement — can enjoy by themselves.

It’s hard to miss the underlying message of much
chocolate advertising. Authentic female pleasure
can be realized in the solitary act of eating chocolate.

the-naked-me from the-naked-me on Vimeo.

Businesses have used ads of writhing women and hints
of orgasm, solitary and otherwise, to sell pretty
much everything, not just chocolate. Soap, shampoo,
beer, shoes, cars, handbags.

You name it, women, sex, and its ending,
have been exploited to sell it.

Estrogen creates craving for fat/sugar combinations,
to create our lovely curves, and may be one reason
why women seem to crave chocolate more than men.
Fatty breasts and hips are useful for having children.

Testosterone creates cravings for fat/protein
combinations, useful in creating muscles,
perhaps for the “hunt.”

Doesn’t it ring true that women love their
sweets while men crave steaks and burgers?

If you want to improve your sex life, give
yourself a chocolate treat.

Chocolate has long been known as a sensual treat,
and it has some scientific backing.

The rush of endorphins produced by eating
chocolates, particularly dark chocolates,
is similar to the pleasurable feelings associated
with a healthy sexual relationship.

Chocolate also contains phenylethylamine which
is known to stimulate the release of dopamine
into the pleasure centers commonly associated
with an orgasm.

I recommend trying an extra-special chocolate
treat called K Sensual, bite-sized chocolate
pieces infused with a combination of ancient
Chinese herbs (including one called horny goat weed)
meant to temporarily increase a woman’s sensitivity.

Take one with a warm drink
or alcohol just before fucking.

Melted Chocolate from on Vimeo.

The Taste of Sex

The body’s natural lubrication and smell
of sexual fluids determines attraction
as well as partiality to the sexual partner.

These are body chemical substances the sexual
partner perceives or imagines through smell or taste.

The nose cavity is made of sensitive nerve endings
which receive and transmit the pleasurable stimuli to the brain.

Sexual Flavours

Here are some of the most common flavors of sex, and what they can add to a good, healthy, passionate relationship. Which one do you crave?

1. The Sweet

Slow and sensual, sweet sex is a comfortable stand-by. Having it regularly increases intimacy levels within your relationship, guaranteeing you stay connected even when other areas of your life threaten to overwhelm.

And just because it’s slow doesn’t mean it’s bland or boring. Try out different forms of touch, and focus on foreplay. It will only make your eventual orgasms that much more intense.

2. The Salty

A good bit naughtier than your typical, take-your-time, vanilla sex, a rough and tumble tangle beneath the sheets (whips and dirty talk optional) can raise endorphins, increasing libido levels and keeping the spark alive in a relationship that may have become too comfortable.

And if you feel silly experimenting with things like dirty talk, take it slow! You can always ease into it with drawn-out moans and heavy breathing.

3. The Spicy

Of course, if salty sex isn’t your thing, you can still raise endorphin levels, and reignite your passion, with a hot quickie. Or have several quickies, allowing this kind of drive-by sex to act as foreplay for the late-night main event. Urgency only ups the spice factor.

4. The Savory

For sex that’s a bit more complex, try something new. Get acrobatic by working your way through the Kama Sutra. Consider something a bit more sexually adventurous, like a threesome or a play party.

Or tap into your biggest sex organ—the brain—by sharing your sexual fantasies with each other… and then picking one or two to try out.

You could even use porn or erotica for inspiration. Even introducing a toy into your sex play could be enough to take things up a notch. Trying new things is a good way to raise libido levels, and keep things exciting.

5. The Sour

Maybe savory sex isn’t exciting enough for you. Maybe you’re interested in something a little bit kinkier. BDSM may seem too out there, but there is logic to the idea that you can find pleasure in pain.

Whips and spankings, for example, are meant to increase sensitivity in the applied area, priming it for even sexier sensations. If you’re a curious beginner, you can always pick up a how-to book.

6. The Bitter

Finally, makeup sex requires a flavor category all its own. A little bit bitter because of the negative emotions that preceded it, and extra intense due to whipsawing mood swings and just a hint of desperation, it’s amazing how something so bad can lead to something so damn good.

Use Your Imagination

Make-out Mondays. Tease Tuesdays. Kiss ‘n’ tell Wednesdays. Topless Thursdays. When her future roommate sat her down with the others who shared the apartment [three male, one female] -and enlightened her about the weekly agenda at their spacious apartment, she almost recoiled in shock.

True, she wasn’t entirely sexually inexperienced and was far from being a prude, but all of this seemed like a bit much.

Should she give up her relatively vanilla life? Or could it taint her forever, and stop her from wanting to live a happy, ‘normal life’? She told her pal she’d sleep over it when one of her hunky roomies snickered: “Alone?”

She reached home, called up her pal and asked her to elaborate what Topless Thursdays involved. “We’re not topless really; we paint each other with chocolate, lick it off and then start all over…” in a slow, sexy laugh that almost melted her resolve to keep away from this wild bunch.

Next Scene: she’s draped in the rich brown heavenly liquid that dripped on her hot pants surrounded by the four hungry roommates.

“Could I eat some, please?” asked a voice teasingly. “We love chocolate, something about pheromones” mumbled another between mouthfuls.

She felt exposed, vulnerable, yet free. Free from the hypocritical, moralistic shackles of society. She felt far, far away from her painful past and uncertain future.

All that mattered was the here and now. All that mattered was pleasure. Receiving, giving, receiving, giving. The lines blurring between the two.

When her steady boyfriend’s face flashed before her, looking earnest as ever as he’d proposed marriage to her. She snapped out of her reverie, her decision made. Guess what she’d turn down. marriage or Topless Thursdays. Your choice.

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