I lost my virginity when I was 16, It happened
in the Foothill dorms over the summer at a
so-called academic pre-college program.
It was mostly a hook-up camp for oversexed
high-schoolers with little academia involved.
Throughout the two-minute ordeal, from the moment
he put it in to his final groan as he collapsed
on top of me, I recall thinking,
“This can’t be it. This just can’t.”
He was married, 30 years older than me,
and guilty as hell. I kept pushing for it.
I wanted it. Until I got it.
As soon as I had a naked man writhing
on top of me, all I could think was,
“God, I hope I never have to do this again!”
I was 15 and he was almost 19. We never talked about
if we had “done it” before but I hadn’t and I don’t
think he had either.
I had given guys blowjobs and been fingered and made
out with people so I thought “no big deal!” Right? Wrong.
Making eye contact was embarrassing for me and making out
was weird to do while we were “doing it.”
It didn’t hurt at all but it wasn’t good. I was not
aroused at all anymore and I was seriously wondering
if I was asexual or something.
Afterwards, we talked about it for hours
and then by that time I was finally turned
on enough we had enjoyable sex.
I lost my virginity with a guy from my class I was in love with.
I was 18 years old. I had a crush on him since first grade.
He was out of reach until we started joking about it.
Then I asked him what if things went there and so,
the next day we met up.
It was also his first time, so it wasn’t uncomfortable
or anything. It didn’t hurt at all. The weirdest part
was after we did it, we got out of the car and we
both went our separate ways.
I told him, “See ya on Monday at school!”
And that was it. We never dated, but we kept
meeting like that for the next three years.
I didn’t date anyone else. He was my first
love and I don’t regret one moment of it.
The only sad thing is that we weren’t
even friends. I haven’t seen him in ages,
but my memories are so great and I love it.
I remember his body on top of mine asking me
“Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m sure.”
After a some some panting from him I felt something.
Not pain but uncertainty and I asked what no man
ever wants to hear: “Is it in?” He replied with
“Yeah, it’s in, can’t you feel it?”
A few minutes later, I still had the sweaty guy on top
of me, breathing heavily saying how amazing it felt.
I turned my face and watched a sitcom on TV.
I didn’t even realize until it was over that
I never even got a kiss out of it.
I walked back home, snuck in and
showered before falling asleep.