Better Porn Take a Tumble

Drive Him Wild

Every girl wants to drive her man wild in the bedroom.
What’s hotter than sexing a guy so good, he has to go
live in the woods because he doesn’t know
how society works anymore?

There’s nothing like pushing a guy past what
he can psychologically handle so that he lives
the rest of his life as an invalid.

Pluck the sanity right out of your man’s
frontal lobe with these scorching tips:

1. Put his cognitive abilities on ice.

Slip an ice cube into your mouth before going down
on your man for a powerful sensation that’ll knock
him back to the cognitive abilities of a toddler.
You’ll send an icy-hot shiver up his spine that will
make its way to his brain and ruin it forever.

2. Two-hand twist his shaft and his reality.

The next time you go down on your guy, twist your
hands in opposite directions along his member.

This move won’t only give your mouth a break
and increase his pleasure; it’ll also make him
feel so good, he’ll be completely disoriented
and terrified of what is happening.

3. Remove his ability to reason with mid-coital Kegels.

Spice up any cock-in-cunt encounter with a tight squeeze!
He’ll be moaning for more, for his mother and for
his commanding officer.

This sensational “hug” will have him thinking
he’s back in ‘Nam. He never even went to ‘Nam!
He’s in fucking heaven.

4. Imprison him in his own mind with a humming blowjob.

Humans have evolved to fear buzzing sounds, as they
can indicate an earthquake, a cloud of insects, or an
orgasm so intense it shatters your mind into a million pieces.

When you’re giving him a blowjob, simply start
humming any tune. Hum louder and louder. It’ll
be the last song he hears before becoming completely
locked in for the rest of his life.

You know, locked in? Where someone is conscious but
can’t move or communicate at all? You get it!

5. Stroke his prostate until it like cardiac arrest.

It’s well into the new millennium, and straight guys are
evolved enough to enjoy a little backdoor action.

Carefully insert a finger inside him until you feel
a little walnut-shaped knot, and stroke it back
and forth until half his face permanently collapses
into an emotionless shell.

Even years of electroconvulsive therapy won’t
rewire the severed connections in his brain.

Drive You Wild

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