Everyone Masturbates

Except [maybe]
Nuns & Priests

Babies touching their own genitals falls into the feel-good category. We’re born sexual beings. Babies touch their genitals because it feels good and brings them comfort.


It used to be seen as a perversion and a sign of mental problems.
Masturbation is now accepted a normal, healthy sexual activity
for men and women, boys and girls.

I masturbate. You masturbate. There’s no need
to get our knickers in such a twist.

Since childhood I’ve often been called a “wanker” –
more recently a “smug wanker”. Even on the cusp of
pubescence I could appreciate the irony in hearing
this from teenage boys.

Bathroom Wank

In a typical urban environment you are never more
than 50 metres away from somebody having a wank,
and this great human impulse has driven many advances
in technology.

The iPad was invented specifically to solve the problem
of getting a decent screen in bed with you to watch
internet porn, while the telegraph was constructed
for the transmission of what Victorians called “fornigrams”.

Literary Wank


My point is there’s nothing “dirty”, “perverse” or “deviant”
about masturbation. A brain as powerful and sophisticated
as mine can’t just be cold-booted in the morning, and
masturbation is one of the best ways to fill the long
minutes that elapse between the first signs of consciousness
and the ability to crawl and signal basic emotions to others.

Erotic Masturbation

Wanking is a powerful motivator. There’s only
so long you can lie clutching a handful of your own
sperm before disgust overwhelms laziness and forces
you to the bathroom.

It’s all good wholesome fun, and yet there’s an alarming
tendency in modern society to demonize anybody with
sexual preferences more adventurous than the Kellogg brothers,
who pioneered the use of Cornflakes to discourage masturbation.

Search ‘kellogg masturbation’
I’m not sure how this was supposed to work – presumably
people were put off by the noise, the chaffing and
the yellow crumbs everywhere.

Healthy Strokes
for Teenage Boys

The majority of teenage males masturbate
at least once a day. Eight times a week
is probably the most common statistic.

It’s not uncommon to hear of teenage males,
especially younger ones, masturbating twice a day.

Doing it fewer than eight times a week is OK too.
The average male will masturbate well over 1000
times before he ever has sex with a female.

Most males masturbate in bed, although many do
it at their computer desks too.
The third most popular place is the bathroom.

special offer

I Think She’s Coming


girl masturbating

There’s Nothing Like
a Wank to Relieve Tension

The longer you go without sexual stimulation, feeling sexual and aroused the harder it will be to go for it when it comes along in the form of a suitable boy, or indeed girl.

You can keep the systems well oiled and ready to transport you to bliss when sex and that hunky partner comes along. It’s the Big M, masturbation!


Sex can lower blood pressure and reduce stress. One study looked at women’s heart rates and cortisol levels as a measure of stress response. It found women showed less stress after an orgasm.

Sex boosts self-esteem, researchers found that a self-esteem boost was one of over 220 reasons people have sex.

Sex improves intimacy – orgasm and having sex increases levels of oxytocin, the so-called love hormone. It helps us bond and build trust. Learning to climax through masturbation gives a woman confidence and personal satisfaction.

Experts agree that when a girl can reach orgasm through her own efforts, she’s a step ahead when she’s with a partner. She is able to show a man how to please her, so she is more likely to climax with a loving partner during love play or intercourse.

Sex reduces pain,as the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase and pain decreases, sex helps you sleep better, sex fights aging, and so the positves continue.

Masturbation can and will lift your spirits, not only can self pleasure help you get in the mood, but it can help you improve your mood.

So start taking advantage of this healthy behavior, get yourself some sex toys, they’re no longer under the counter products. You’ll be surprised at what pleasure they can bring.

They come in different shapes, sizes and materials. Try a dildo [just like a cock] or a slim vibrator that will stimulate your clitoris. There’s something for everyone. Go for it, girls!

Go Screw Yourself

Solo sex has a long history of taboo.
In the age of Freud, women who touched
themselves ‘down there’ were diagnosed
with “hysteria.”

Men who beat their meat were
warned they could go blind.

The more communicative you are when having sexual
experiences with others, the better for all.

While it can sometimes feel awkward or challenging
to let your partner or partners know what it is you
like in bed, masturbation is something that can
really help you identify these things so that you
can clearly ask for what you want.

For those who want partnered sex, by knowing what
is pleasurable to your body you’re more likely to be
sexually assertive about your fantasies and preferences.

take youself in hand

Despite its historical reputation, plenty of people
believe thou shalt wank thyself. According to the
Kinsey Institute, masturbation is the most common
sexual behavior, with about 90 percent of men and
60 percent of women claiming to have handled themselves.

But while our pants are down, our lips are zipped.
Masturbation is seldom discussed, let alone praised.

While few of our parents invested in chastity belts
or tied our hands to our bed-posts at night, most
of us weren’t raised with an honest, positive
dialogue about self-pleasure.


Times change, sexual attitudes move on.
Now we know whacking off is a super safe
alternative to having sex with another person.

Masturbation has never got anybody pregnant,
never made anybody go blind, never caused
anybody to go crazy. And you know you’re
having sex with somebody you love.


Could our fingers be our best sexual partner?

Think of it this way: just an arm’s length away,
you have unrestricted access to a sexual partner
who is available every time you’re in the mood,
can’t give you a sexually transmitted infection
or cause an accidental pregnancy.

He/she doesn’t care what kind of underwear
you’re wearing or how recently you’ve trimmed
your bush, knows exactly how you like to be
touched and is motivated by your pleasure and
your pleasure only.

If you know of someone who fits this bill, lucky you.
If not, stop being optimistic, get a vibrator.

To prevent these horrifying consequences, Victorian-era parents were marketed an array of anti-masturbation devices, ranging from modest chastity belts to intrusive urethral rings, which pricked the penis if it became erect.

Not only does masturbating help women understand their orgasms but it also demonstrates that you don’t need to rely on anyone else for your pleasure. By the way, women consistently rank masturbation as the most reliable way to get off.

Adolescent girls who are comfortable masturbating don’t teenage boy to do it for them. Sex with yourself is not only satisfying and self-empowering — it’s the safest sex you can have.

So seriously, go screw yourself. The best sex of your life could literally be at your fingertips.

Are You Coming?

obviously coming


The second coming. Come for Christ
Can You Come? Are you coming?
You can’t make me come.
I’m delighted you came.
He came almost immediately.
She’s never going to come.

I’ll come after you.
I wonder what would have happened if she’d come.
I was pleased when you said you’d come.
I’ve been coming here with her for years.
If I’d known you were coming I’d’ve changed my style.

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