Say It out Loud! I’m Naked & Proud!
Do you ever undress a gorgeous creature with
your eyes, imagining what they’d look like naked?
That’s the goal. Getting some sexy thing
into your bed naked. But then what do we do:
lights out for the duration of the evening
and an early-morning quick change?
If imagining someone in the flesh gets us
so immediately turned on, why do we so
often spend the night reading body braille?
The acceptance and appreciation of the naked human body
is not only personal, but extremely culture specific.
Are Americans too uptight about nudity? We don’t
see tits flashing up on-screen during a body soap
commercial like so many European countries.
But more and more ass-shots are sneaking into
the PG-13 category and we’ve seemed to loosen
up a bit about correlating female promiscuity
to the amount of skin a girl’s outfit exposes.
The main issue with nudity is context. A woman taking
out her breast in a public area to breastfeed her
child is considered socially acceptable.
But an innocent boob looking for a cool
breeze falls into the flasher category.
We are told to cover up, then to make our bodies
look flawless and rock-hard when we are naked.
Yet called sluts and show-offs for letting
it all hang out. Maybe Americans aren’t uptight,
but we certainly are confused.
Pure Nakedness from stop[gap] on Vimeo.
On average, how many people throughout the day see you
completely, head-to-toe, buck naked? I’m talking full-
frontal flesh couture. We want our bodies to look great,
but who’s really seeing them in the nude?
Supposedly, the people we choose to have sex with.
These are the individuals we trust enough to expose
ourselves to completely, mind and body.
Yet I’ll be the first to admit that feeling comfortable
sleeping with someone and feeling comfortable being
naked in front of the same person are two separate issues.
They should come hand-in-hand, but when it comes
down to self-esteem and openness, there is a huge
disconnect between our sexuality and how comfortable
we are with our naked selves.
So many women have a really hard time opening up
to having sex with the light on or during the day,
just because they’re afraid the person they’re
sleeping with won’t like what they see.
Well let me just say that if someone is in your bed,
they are attracted to your body and want to see all
you have to offer. If you can just let yourself be
vulnerable and let go, the sex you’re having will be even sexier.
Let’s stop playing hide-and-seek, drop
your pants and step into the limelight.
Sex should tantalize all the senses,
and seeing is believing. Plus, no one
in their right mind would say no to
a morning-after shower sex session.
Naked, wet, delicious.
Exploring Her Sexuality
What’s the true nature of female sexuality? When it
comes to women’s priorities, why, once in a secure
relationship, is sex no longer seems significant?
Exploring what defines women’s libido and why it becomes
depleted, I investigate whether we have unrealistic
expectations about our sex drive, who defines what is
normal and abnormal, and if ‘low libido’ is in fact
the natural order of things.
Though generally, women are sexually active during adolescence,
they reach their peak orgasmic frequency in their 30s,
and have a constant level of sexual capacity up to the age of
55 with little evidence that aging affects it in later life.
In women, masturbation can happen in many ways.
Here the stimulation of the clitoris is the central issue.
Typically the hand and finger make circular, back and forth
or up and down movements against the mons and clitoral area.
Most women avoid direct stimulation of the glans of the
clitoris because of extreme sensitivity. Some women thrust
the clitoral area against an object such as bedding or pillow,
others by pressing thighs together and by teasing the pelvic
floor muscles that underlie the vulva.
Female Libido
1. Sexuality is shaped by culture and history. For example, a hundred years ago a woman who loved sex could be regarded as being mentally disturbed. Now, if you don’t love sex you could end up being diagnosed as dysfunctional. It pays to be skeptical of labels that pathologize sexual difference.
2. Our desire to appear desirable exceeds desire itself. It is well known that media and advertising can have a devastating effect on women’s self-esteem. It affects our sexual self-esteem. Feeling like we don’t live up to the physical ideal, women often grow to view themselves, and even their genitalia, as undesirable.
Rather than having sex, many women simply want to look like they are having sex. We are too busy chasing beautiful to want to kiss beautifully.
Too busy chasing the veneer of desirability, to desire. Our animal instincts have become inverted: time devoted to preening overrides time devoted to mating and sexual pleasure.
3. Ditch the rom-com storyline. Passionate monogamy, the goal for most, promises lust-ever-after. But we have unrealistic expectations about relationships.
It’s natural for sexual intensity to decline over the duration of a relationship, as we age, due to life pressures and when we have children. Although lust may dampen, it is possible to maintain love and connection, and increase our chances of desire showing up too.
4. Actually, low female desire is normal. Women have been made to feel that having a low libido means something is wrong with them.
In a long-term monogamous relationship it is extremely common to have a lukewarm interest in sex and rarely initiate it. Far from being a disorder, low libido is just the natural state of affairs for many women.
5. The so-called sexless marriage. Consider the current definition of a ‘sexless marriage’–a relationship in which the couple has sex ten times a year or less.
Really? So couples that have been together for a decade and are going through the highs and lows of life, have sex nearly once a month. Rather than brandishing a negative label, good for them, I say.
6.The hand that rocks the cradle doesn’t rock the bedroom. Research indicates that one-third of couples experience significant sexual loss after having children.
A strong correlation was found between marital dissatisfaction and greater number of children. For women, it is increasingly difficult to carve out the duel identity of mother and sensual lover.
7. There is more than one type of sexual prime. As we age, women often experience less desire due to many factors, including illness (their partners’ and their own), and issues associated with self-image.
Although many of us are familiar with the notion of sexual prime in relation to the physical–body, genitals, and hormones–it is not the full picture.
An emotional prime also exists, related to spirit, maturity, and fluidity with life. Physical and emotional factors are intertwined and interact in unpredictable and exciting ways.
Many women experience a sexual renaissance in their later years. Fortunately, sexual prime can peak at any age.
8. Free range sexuality. In many ways female sexuality is still mysterious. And since scientists can’t agree about what women’s sexual response is, what constitutes female sexual dysfunction. If women have a definitive sexual peak, it is unrealistic to expect us to have a similar sex drive.
For women who no longer care for sex, or for those who never did, refuge may be found in this inability to prove what is normal. Perhaps we can use this to free ourselves from comparing our sexuality to the sexuality of others and instead manifest our own sexual path.
There has never been a culture where women have been encouraged to explore and experiment with their sensuality without censure. We don’t understand the full potential of female sexuality, free-range style.