Masturbation What the Fuck

Go Fuck Yourself

The Art of

I love to fuck myself [masturbate].
Used only by women: fingers, vibrator,
dildo or any handy household item.

Single people who don’t already have a regular
sexual partner adapt to get much more
creative when it comes to getting off.

Sex tech has undergone a huge amount of innovation
over the past decade, meaning that the options
available for stay-at-home wankers are more abundant
than ever before. Whatever your sexual predilection,
there’s a toy for it.

Fuck Yourself from Andres Zuluaga on Vimeo.

Your Can Go Fuck Yourself

GFY: (Internet slang) Good for you (ironically).
(Internet slang) Go fuck yourself.

I discovered masturbation accidentally
in my pre-teen years and never looked
back (shout-out: bike seats).

While I felt no shame experimenting,
I did so within the privacy of my own home.

Until I left for college. Navigating dorm life
was a minefield: When you’re sharing a room
with someone, you’re forced to walk a fine
line between prioritising your own self-care
and remaining respectful of theirs.

But sometimes, schedules collide and things
can get messy — literally.

Girls Prefer Two
Fingers to Masturbate

She presses herself against the wall and slides
down so her buttocks touch the hardwood floor.

Without her fingers leaving her clitoris,
she spreads her legs wide and cries out as
the previous tweak turns into an intensified jolt.

She’s so wet now, worried about leaving
a mark on the floor. So what if I do,
she thought, continuing to rub herself.

Her two fingers pressing down harder, yet another
cry from her lips. Her eyes become glazed and her vision
starts blurring. Wow. That didn’t take long.

She starts letting go of the tension and submits her
body to the glorious orgasm begging to be released.


It’s all about the clit, that’s where the money is.
When you’ve worked out how to finger yourself,
you’ll realise the clit hits the spot.

Try using two fingers inside you. It feels
more like a cock [if that’s what you want].

One finger can feel a bit like the first
time a guy awkwardly fingered you, and
three or four will feel like you’re in
a porn clip (and might hurt).

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