Getting in on the Act
In parts of the gay community, being bisexual or
a lesbian who has hooked up with guys in the past
is like having horns or an incurable disease.
I blame the bi-hatred on the rise of girls I call
‘Acting Lesbians’. These are chicks you see on
social media, in clubs and bars getting touchy-feely
with their platonic girlfriends to get attention from men.
Although it stops with a kiss or an innocent boob-grab
for most of these girls, some of them actually identify
themselves as bisexual, mucking things up for queers.
When they aren’t being sexualized by straight
pornographic ideals, bisexual women face
stigmatization from the lesbian community.
Because bisexuals are attracted to both men
and women, they are identified as having
a “lesbian” side and a “straight” side.
More so than lesbians, bisexuals are perceived
as more able and willing to be assimilated
into straight, mainstream society.
One element of oppression some lesbians face
comes from an overtly masculine appearance.
To pass for straight, in this sense, is a cop-out,
compared with lesbians whose sexuality isn’t ambiguous.
Teenage Attraction
Refusing to embrace teenage girls’ sexuality is
part of society’s larger tendency to strictly
delineate and control teenage girls’ identities.
Young women are still expected to dampen their
sexual desires to fit into our society’s feminine
ideal: a perfect, angelic girl.
This ‘good girl’ caricature is repeated through
constructs like slut-shaming, the valorization
of virginity, and (though seemingly contradictory)
mocking girls for being a “prude” and denying men
pleasure because women’s sexuality is still
considered in a heterosexist framework.
Horny Teenagers
Why do I feel horny all the time? Its not
supposed to be normal for a woman.
You’re only human! It’s normal to feel aroused
on a regular basis. This can be caused our
natural urge to reproduce.
It’s society that tries to put a bar on women’s
sexuality when biologically a woman’s sex drive
can be just as high or higher than a man’s.
Horny Teenager
It’s terrific that you’re aware of your sexual desires.
Masturbating two or three times per week, having an
engorged vagina, even in relatively non-sexual settings.
Thinking about your sexual wants and needs is quite normal.
This Is a Cunt, Boys
Cunt Gives Women
Sexual Power
Men have so many words that they can use to hint at their own sexual power, but we have just the one. Let’s use it and love it.
Cunt’s a perfectly nice little word, a word with 800 years of history; a word used by Chaucer and by Shakespeare. It’s the only word we have to describe the female genitalia that is neither mawkish, nor medical, nor a function of pornography.
Semantically, it serves the same function as “dick” or “prick” – a signifier for a sexual organ which can also be used as a descriptor or insult, a word that is not passive, but active, even aggressive.
There are no other truly empowering words for the female genitalia. ‘Pussy’ is nastily diminutive, as if every woman had a tame and purring pet between her legs, while the medical descriptor “vagina” refers only to a part of the organ, as if women’s sexuality were nothing more than a wet hole, or “sheath” in the Latin.
Cunt, meanwhile, is a word for the whole thing, a wholesome word, an earthy, dank and lusty word with the merest hint of horny threat. Cunt. It’s fantastically difficult to pronounce without baring the teeth.
It is this kind of female sexuality – active, adult female sexuality – that still has the power to horrify even the most forward-thinking logophile. Despite occasional attempts by feminists such as Eve Ensler to “reclaim” the word cunt as the powerful, vital, visceral sexual signifier that it is, the taboo seems only to have become stronger.
Media officials avoid it with the superstitious revulsion once reserved for evil-eye words, as if even pronouncing “cunt” might somehow conjure one into existence.
For me, “cunt” is, and will always be, a word of power, whether it denotes my own genitals or any obstreperous comrades in the vicinity.
The first time I ever used it, I was 12 years old, and being hounded by a group of sixth-form boys who just loved to corner me on the stairs and make hilarious sexy comments.
One day, one of them decided it would be funny to pick me up by the waist and shake me. I spat out the words “put me down, you utter cunt”, and the boy was so shocked that he dropped me instantly.
Ever since then, “cunt” has been a cherished part of my lexical armour. I use it liberally: in conversation, in the bedroom, and in debates.
I only wish I could hear more women saying it, more of us reclaiming “cunt” as a word of sexual potency and common discourse rather than a dirty, forbidden word.
Men have so many words that they can use to hint at their own sexual power, but we have just the one, and it’s still the worst word you can say on the telly. Let’s all get over ourselves about “cunt”. Let’s use it and love it.