Joy: Different Types of Sex

Comprehensive Coverage

Don’t settle down! Here are some
types of sex you may have missed.

I’m tired of all these so-called
relationship experts telling women the way
to snag a man is to keep it in your pants.

Listen, you screaming puritans,
not only am I too old to be a virgin,
but I sure as hell am glad I’m not!
Come on Girls. Get out there and gain
some experience.

1. Sexy Foreigner Sex

You can barely pronounce his name, but boy does he talk pretty. Perhaps you’re traveling, or he came to you. Either way, don’t let the chance to have a fling with a foreign hottie pass you by. Hey, it might just be your only chance to see one uncircumcised.

2. “The One” Sex

You thought he was, but he isn’t. He broke your heart and you wonder if you’ll ever have sex this good again. I promise, when you do meet your match for real, you’ll know this guy was a test of faith that made you stronger.

3. The Big Dick Sex

You must hunt down and slay lay the mythical dragon penis. Otherwise, you’ll always wonder how big is too big. You’ll have that gasp moment when it’s revealed to you and then you get to remember what it’s like to be a virgin when he sticks it in.

Afterward, you get to brag to your girlfriends and every salami will remind you of him. But finally, you can put the fantasy that a huge manhood has magical powers to rest. It’s just a Johnson, attached to a man, like all the others. And sometimes that man is an even bigger prick.

4. Bad Sex

The kind of sex you want to take a shower after, immediately. It’ll help you appreciate good sex, and even mediocre sex when you have it.

5. Angry/Hate/Breakup Sex

Whether you’re angry because he’s a Republican and you canvassed for Obama, or you’re totally mad at your BF and want to call it off, anger is one potent aphrodisiac. It certainly starts the sexy time off with a bang. It’s like naked wrestling where everyone wins.

6. Rock Star/DJ/Actor/Artist/Athlete Sex

Who doesn’t fantasize about being someone’s muse? When you’re some guy’s Penny Lane, you feel like a million sexy bucks. And then cheap, like, two seconds later. But it always makes for an interesting story. So go, be someone’s inspiration… in bed.

7. Booty Hole Sex

You should know if anal is your thing before you settle down. Test out this sex position with someone you trust, preferably a mild-mannered sweetheart who is super-gentle in the sack and who’s also dispensable, just in case you don’t like it and never want to do it again.

Because for dudes, once they pop, they can’t stop. And for some people, not getting any no-no factory action is a dealbreaker.

8. Lesbian Sex
You don’t have to go all the way, but you have to at least kiss another girl. And it doesn’t count if you’re doing it for male attention; every liaison is best in private. There is a level of understanding yourself and your sexuality that comes from sexing it up with another woman, no matter how straight you think you are.

9. Older/Younger Man Sex

This is a two-parter: bag a younger man and an older man. Especially when it comes to dudes, you have to comparison shop. I could make some sweeping generalizations here, like your older man will lavish you with expensive gifts and attention, and the boy will have you screwing like bunnies.

But in my experience, that can be a load of bull. You have to taste men at every age, and you might just be surprised by what you find out about guys in general.

10. Dominant Sex

Three words: woman on top. You totally dominate this sexual experience. It’s you, in control, doing and getting what you want. Bonus points if it involves leather.

11. Incomplete/Drunk Sex

Sometimes he drank too much whiskey; sometimes he just did it solo. Whatever the reason, sometimes you can’t get him up for the night and you have to accept that. No hard feelings, no pun intended.

You have to figure out how to handle your insecurity over the situation in a way that doesn’t make a man feel worthless. It happens to every dude. Let’s just be grateful all we ladies have to do is show up, spread ’em, and party on.

12. Solo Sex

There’s nothing more empowering and easy than doing it yourself. Masturbation is important for learning what you like and how to get all the way home. And it’s extra fun to get the job done with a vibrating play thing.

You just can’t miss out on what technology has to offer your ladyflower. But with or without batteries, thanks to masturbation, you’ll be able to help future partners give you what you want.

Joy: Anticipation of Sex

Sexual anticipation is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs
you will ever come across. Sexual apprehension is also as
powerful and will kill any sexual spark in a second.


This thing called sexual desire can make or break good sex.
The number one reason long-term couples stop having sex
is a lack of sexual desire.

What is that thing called? It’s the thoughts you have
toward your sexual experience – good, bad or otherwise.

Can you remember back in the love-haze of a newbie
relationship? You waited with bated breath to see,
touch, smell, rip clothes off and have wild sex.


Because you spent hours positively anticipating
sex, by the time you had that wonderful sex, you
were instantly roused.

Now compare that with your thoughts if sex were initiated today.
For too many women, foreplay becomes days of anxiety, of her
walking on eggshells wondering when sex will be initiated.

her wares on display

When the sex is initiated, the ability to get sexually aroused
takes twice as long (if it happens at all) because she has
to get out of her negative thought pattern and into feeling
the positive pleasures of her body.

Women need at least 10 to 15 minutes of warm up.
Coincidentally, that’s how long the average
sexual encounter lasts.

Suddenly the sex is over and she hasn’t had
a chance to enjoy herself, even if she had
an orgasm, which creates an even deeper
resentment toward any future sex act.

Voila, you’ve hit a sex rut and you’re digging
yourself deeper every time you have sex.

To bring the zing back into your sex life, it’s
essential to build a positive expectation toward sex.

If a couple has gone years without discussing this
negative circumstance, creating positive thoughts
toward sex will not happen instantaneously.

Especially for women who tend to hang onto anger
and allow it to linger, sometimes for years.

But don’t fret. Fixing this situation is possible.

As sex is a team sport, it’s up to both of you to make
a concerted effort to persevere and bring the fun back
into your relationship.

Mating Rituals

Flirting (or coquetry) is a playful activity involving verbal communication as well as body language by one person to another.

It indicates an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person. Usually, flirting is either seriously or jokingly intended to be interpreted as a romantic or sexual overture. A female flirt, especially a young one, is sometimes called a coquette. A male one, a womanizer or player.

Flirting usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest.

This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.

Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, open stances, proximity etc. Verbal communication of interest can include the vocal tone, such as pace, volume, intonation.

Challenges (teasing, questions, qualifying, feigned disinterest) serve to increase tension, test intention and finding our if the two of you are on the same wavelength.

There are two main types of flirting: flirting for fun and flirting with intent. Flirting for fun can take place between friends, co-workers, or total strangers that wish to get to know each other.

This type of flirting doesn’t intend to lead to sexual intercourse or romantic relationship, but increases the bonds between two people.

Flirting with intent plays a role in the mate-selection process. The person flirting will send out signals of sexual availability to another, and expects to see the interest returned in order to continue flirting.

Flirting can involve non-verbal signs, such as an exchange of glances, hand-touching, hair-touching, or verbal signs, such as chatting up, flattering comments, and exchange of telephone numbers in order to initiate further contact.

Increasingly, flirting is taking up space on social media. “Wanna look at me Naked?”