The Power of Reckless Sex
We were turned in on each other and
to hell with the rest of the world.
It really felt like she was losing
herself to me and I felt the same way.
That’s what made it so hot.
Untamed reckless sex.
Many men are told they think too much about sex.
Many women are told they don’t think about it enough.
Maybe both sexes need to think about it differently.
Instead of being binary or reductionist,
we should reframe our relationship with sex
and open our minds to alternative attitudes.
The need for sex is one that creates internal conflicts.
This is because we have flesh that craves contact
with other flesh, often flesh we shouldn’t crave contact with.
Born out of this conflict is a simultaneous
desire for deviance and disgust at our deviance.
It leads us to lie, to cheat, to suppress and suffer.
We may try to tame our ‘base’ desires but they
tend to wreak havoc across our lives.
It leads us to destroy our relationships
and threaten our productivity .
Sexual indulgence is bad for capitalism
It compels us to stay up too late in
nightclubs talking to people whom we don’t
know but whose bodies we want to explore.
Our best hope should be for a respectful accommodation
with an anarchic and reckless power. Accommodating it
involves a realisation that there is nothing ‘wrong’ with us.
It’s rare to go through life without feeling we are
somehow a bit odd about sex.
Despite being one of the most private activities, sex
is surrounded by a range of powerfully socially
sanctioned ideas that codify how normal people are
meant to feel about and deal with the matter.
We’re universally deviant but only in relation
to some highly distorted ideals of normality.
Lower Your Guard
The sex problem for women is that we are trying
to stay in control of ourselves. Being intimate
with our partner means losing control over our
inhibitions which some women find hard to do.
Being in control means you are standing on guard,
being aware of your surroundings and not being
taken by surprise.
But sex doesn’t work that way. You have to stop concentrating and start feeling to begin to enjoy sex. Sex should just come naturally, to forgive the pun, and shouldn’t require a lot of work.
One of the stumbling blocks to achieving an orgasm
is that we are so worried about it. Instead of letting
the wave of pleasure flow over us we need to switch
the chatter off in our heads.
If you are constantly thinking, “Am I there yet?
Will it happen? When will it happen?” you won’t orgasm.
By throwing caution to the wind we should become
primitive, not proper when it comes to having sex.
It’s a basic instinct in all of us.
Sex isn’t tame, it cant be put in a pot with
the lid on, it is messy, noisy and uninhibited.
Even the behavior Kobe Bryant admitted to, unprotected consensual sex with a woman he had just met, was irresponsible and dangerous. There’s a proposal to curtail such behavior: outlawing “reckless sex.”
Reckless sex is defined as penetration, without a condom, in a first-time sexual encounter. Because such sex leaves behind forensic evidence, it would be relatively easy for prosecutors to prove that it had occurred. Anyone accused of the crime could then offer the defense that omitting the condom had been consensual.