Sexual Excitement

Open Marriage: Relieve the Monotony

Sexual ‘experts’ highlight just how unrealistic sexual
monogamy can be over the course of a decades-long
marriage but they rarely advocate an open marriage.

Serial Monogamy:
Trade in for New Model

There are serious problems with monogamy and there are serious problems with open marriages. The ’60s were all about looking for solutions, but there really aren’t any.

Our notions of marriage have evolved over time. It’s only very recently we began to expect a marriage to be based on family, love and passion. Are we being naive?

Even today we still think “Oh great, we’re going to get married and live happily ever after,” or, “Ah, no problem, we’ll just have a policy of open marriage and cynical secrets.”

You might expect couples to have more sex the longer they stay together, and yet that’s often not the case. How come that sexual drive to be fully known and accepted doesn’t persist in long-term relationships?

We have a need to be in the middle between closeness and distance. Too much distance and things get cold and lonely, and too much closeness and things dissolve and get oppressive.

We always want to be somewhere in the middle. When a long-term relationships gets too close, the problem is that sex, which is the ultimate act of closeness, becomes in a way unnecessary and unexciting.

The reason why the first time you have sex with someone it’s so exciting is because then you’re able to travel the maximum distance from loneliness to closeness, and you feel the excitement of that journey. But once you’re there, once you’ve settled with someone, the interest will wane.

There’s a magical solution to thi problem of decreasing desire. There are various smaller solutions, like going to a hotel, changing the physical environment in which you are and trying to remember who the person was that you once desired on the first date.

One of the depressing things about long-term relationships is that people forget that their partners are desirable to others. They take each other for granted.

You know the feeling. You’ve been together for 2-3 years and you’ve had sex many many times. Now you’re getting bored. Many people would say, they’d rather do other things than have sex.

They just don’t feel the fire or the urgency to do it as they used to. In fact, quite often, it’s at about this moment that many relationships break up. One or the other meets someone new and the fire starts up again.

Perhaps that’s the answer. Serial monogamy. Sex is like a car. After a while you grow tired of the make and model. Time to trade in and get a new partner with more oomph.

Stop The Boredom!
Change Partners!

A majority of women complain their sex lives
are way too predictable, based on location,
position, time of day, duration and foreplay.

The whole sex routine gets
so boring. Same setting, same
man, same time, same position.

He comes, I go to the bathroom
and masturbate. Yawn…another
‘making love’ session is over.

Why can’t we just Fuck? Whenever, however,
wherever and [most important] whoever?

Most people in sexual partnerships
for some time face the conundrum
called “habituation to a stimulus”.
Everything becomes routine, even sex.

It seems heterosexual women, on average are
likely to face this problem earlier in the
relationship than men.

It doesn’t even out over time. In general,
men can manage with the way things are,
while women struggle with it.

Be honest. You fantasize about
having sex with somebody else.

Clearly, women in monogamous relationships
are bored to death. It seems monogamy equals
monotony when it comes to what’s happening
(or not happening) between the sheets.

And maybe it’s the fact that it’s
always happening between the sheets
that’s the problem to begin with.

Where’s the fun? The spontaneity?
The excitement that comes with
secretly sleeping with some young
Brad Pitt in the stables?

Or picking up a boy at a concert and
fucking him on the back seat of your car?

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