Fucking Temptation

Does Your Mind Wander During Sex?

I love sex a lot. And I identify myself as a straight woman.
I even have a fabulous boyfriend… and we do it often.

It’s pretty much always crazy. Multiples,
squirting, screaming, you name it.

So why can’t I stay focused? I find my mind wandering
a lot during sex. I’m definitely turned on, I’m
definitely attracted to my boyfriend, and sometimes
we even role-play to keep it from getting boring.

And yet, I find myself thinking about women. I have never been with a woman, and I’m not sure I’m seriously interested in trying it. But sometimes, my boyfriend and I are having sex, and I think about boobs or kissing a girl.

Even worse: Sometimes that’s the thing that gets me off. Thinking of touching another girl under the shirt is often the reason I orgasm.

I’ve played with the idea of telling my boyfriend that this is something I fantasize about, but I don’t want to offend him or make him feel strange.

I don’t worry about him judging me, but I don’t want him to know that I’ve been thinking about other people while we have sex. This would SERIOUSLY upset me if he told me that.

I also don’t want him to feel like he has to pursue this fantasy with me if he doesn’t feel comfortable doing so. But would he feel inadequate if it’s something he can’t fulfill for me?

On the other hand, I’d like to try being with another woman to settle it in my mind. Is it something I seriously want?

Or is it just something exotic that I like the thought of but don’t really care to try? But I also don’t want to cheat or do anything behind my boyfriend’s back.

I’ve had great sex for many years with many men and very few experiences with women. Even when people brag about the awesome sex they have (if it’s true!), they still may be struggling with something in their mind. We all have our issues.

Lying about Your Sexual Experience

Do you find that you automatically assume that people are sexually active? Because I do. And I know it’s the wrong assumption. I’m a 20-something college graduate who is a virgin. On the one hand this is not something to be ashamed of.

I’ve abstained from sex because I believe that monogamy is the healthiest option for me (both mentally and physically). Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very sexual person. Give me a good committed relationship and I won’t get out of bed.

Yet, on the other hand, I feel a small sense of shame when I get into a situation where my sexual history comes into play. I feel like it’s expected that I’ve already had sex.

I do a lot of bluffing even among my friends so that no one will guess that I’m the lone virgin in the room. I harbor a (slightly irrational) fear that I’ll be in a dating situation and have to tell someone that I’ve never slept with anyone before and that I’ll immediately be judged for it.

It’s not every day you find a 25 year old virgin. Have you ever bluffed your sexual history? What did you tell your first partner? Do you ever feel judged for your sexual past?

BDSM Play Date

My sex has always been pretty “vanilla.” Except for a few rare occasions, it has always been in a committed relationship and with people who weren’t very adventurous or who haven’t had many partners.

However, after reading about BDSM online, I figured out that I wanted more. Maybe not full on BDSM…I don’t want to be in any real pain but I do like acute pain (i.e. piercings and biting are fun to me).

I jokingly had joined a dating website in order to get over someone. One day I was chatting with a guy and the conversation soon became really sexual. It turned out that this guy had been with over 30 people- sometimes in threesomes.

I shared with him that I had recently had an experience with three friends (two guys and a girl) where we hooked up with one another (everything but intercourse) and ended up being naked together after a long night of “Circle of Death.”

I hadn’t told many people about this experience because it was pretty “out there” but this guy seemed to be really interested.

I admitted to him my BDSM fantasy and he thought it was great; apparently that was his thing too but it scared most girls away.

Also, I said that I think I would enjoy being bossed around and controlled and he said he usually plays a dominant role. Basically, we both were really turned on and talking about how we wished we could do something about it…and then we did.

For some reason, even though this was my first time talking to this guy and I could barely even see his picture, I gave this guy my address. I do not encourage anyone else to do this; this experience could have easily turned really really bad.

But fortunately for me, no one was killed or raped. While I was waiting for him to come over, I was definitely nervous and excited.

I told one of my friends to stay on call in case I needed help. I was worried if he would hurt me, if he would be attractive, or if I would be so inexperienced that I wouldn’t be able to please him.

Also, there were the roommates to consider: one of my roommates was in her room and the other could come home at any moment.

I had to figure out how to get this guy into my room, have sex with him, and get him out without either of them knowing.

This is quite difficult because our apartment is pretty small and you can hear whenever anyone is having sex. I devised a plan: turn on Red Hot Chili Peppers really loudly and turn on the bathroom fan connecting my room to my other roommate’s room.

Luckily, when he came, he was pretty attractive (although a lot older looking than I had imagined- he was 30 and I was 21). I pulled him into my room, and also fortunately, he took control. He started kissing me aggressively and directing me.

He told me he would go easy on me since this was my first time experimenting with such things. Everything felt really good to me; I felt so free.

It was great to be with someone who didn’t think I was a freak for liking a little squeezing, slapping and biting. And anything I didn’t like, he would stop. This was also the first time I got off from just fingering.

Looking back on this now, I think I liked playing a submissive role because of self-esteem issues. I’m always worried that the person I’m with doesn’t like me as much as I like them (I fall for people pretty deeply), so if someone DEMANDS sex with me, it eliminates all these insecurities for me.

They don’t just want sex with me, they NEED sex with me. I’m not sure this is something I should embrace. I think I should be able to find “sweet” sex enjoyable as well…but the BDSM play date certainly was something I will never forget.

Sex on My Mind

She was madly flirting with me,
saying I shouldn’t be left on my
own at the end of the week.

She made all the moves. I couldn’t resist
her. She’s a great-looking girl. I can’t
pretend I didn’t have sex on my mind.

She pulled me down on to the marital bed.
The sex was amazing but, even before it was
finished, I hated myself. That wasn’t the
first time I’d cheated on my wife.

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