I get so wet when I’m turned
on during sex. My partner just slips
in and out and I can barely feel him.
It’s great you can readily get turned on.
It seems your body does too good a job.
Other women’s bodies struggle
to produce any natural lubrication.
As you get older, this problem may reduce by itself.
But let’s focus on how to manage it right now so you
have many years of thoroughly enjoyable sex ahead.
You can put a menstrual sea sponge inside your
vagina before intercourse. It will soak up much
of the lubrication; one of you will just need
long fingers to get it out afterwards.
Alternatively, try using a condom to add
more friction or try having a soft cotton
cloth handy and have your partner
incorporate gentle wiping up of the
excess moisture as part of your lovemaking.
You may want to try taking a decongestant
before sex as it dries mucosal tissues out.
Pelvic floor exercises are useful for everyone.
Identify the muscles you clench when you’re
rushing to the loo to pee.
Imagine these muscles at the entrance to the vagina
as if they are a horizontal version of the saloon
doors in the old cowboy movies and swing them up and down.
A Flock of Vulvas
Now singing the praises of female genital pride is
Regena Thomashauer in her book “Pussy: A Reclamation.”
After being buried under 5,000 years of “patriarchal
conditioning,” Ms. Thomashauer writes, “she is ready
to re-emerge.” Her therapeutic advice involves a
hand mirror and frequent peeks and greetings
of “Hello, gorgeous!” to the region in question.
Gloria Swanson said she and her friends
took artistically styled and composed shots.
“Being in a long-distance relationship, that’s
kind of the only way you can be intimate.
I only want my significant other to see my pictures.”
She doesn’t believe in letting it all hang out.
“If you got a little pudge, you got to work
around it and find an angle that’s flattering.”
As for grooming: “I might have a triangle or
the landing strip, just enough that it doesn’t
show through your underwear.
I actually had a partner who asked me to grow
it out and not trim it up at one point.
He was like, ‘Yeah, get the ’70s porn star on,’ a
nd I was like, ‘all right! I’ll try it.’”
Ursula, who identifies as being part of the LGBTQ community
has been taking Vulva-selfies since she was 20.
“It’s empowering and helps you love and accept every part of your body.”
“Snapchat filters banish blemish and razor bumps,” she said,
adding that when she gets really fancy she uses Photoshop.
“My mother is a photographer — lights
and background are everything.
Sometimes filters can make the puss look shaved even
if it’s been two days and you’re stubbly.
You want your puss to look good, so whatever
light, filter, position will make your puss
look best, that’s the one you should use.
I use it as a narrative, as if you’re telling a story.
It’s an aspect of that, it’s not just a vagina.”