Start by thinking about what you find erotic.
Spend some time on your own reading erotic
fiction and watching porn, both of which could
help you explore your turn-ons.
There are lots of different kinds of porn.
Three or four times a week she goes in search
of new videos in some of her favorite categories
— Big breast play. Squirting. Lesbian.
She recently watched a video that hit all of her
sweet spots: two women who didn’t have “perky,
fake boobs,” but instead looked real.
They were in bed, kissing and fondling each other.
For many women, same-sex porn provides
an opportunity to imagine what it might
be like to be with another woman, even if
they consider themselves heterosexual.
For them, lesbian pornography refers to porn
starring two or more women, not porn necessarily
geared toward lesbian or bisexual women or even
features actors who identify as queer themselves.
It’s purely a fantasy, not a desire they want to act on.
Objections to erotic material are often made on the basis
of supposed actual, social or moral harm to women.
No such cause and effect has been
demonstrated with any negative consequence.
There is no evidence to suggest
any ill effects of watching porn.
Are women who view pornography terrorized
beyond redemption? Do they descend into a well
of despair and self-doubt about their sexuality?
Do men become misogynist monsters watching
pornographic material? Do they develop
debilitating penis insecurities at the s
ight of well-endowed male porn actors?
Watching Her from D.STEEZY on Vimeo.
Watching hardcore porn is beneficial to your sex life,
attitudes towards sex, members of the opposite sex
and towards life in general.
The more you watch porn, the stronger
the benefits for both men and women.
Angelina Petrova: Watch to Be Roused from PPDay on Vimeo.
Porn on the Brain
Watching porn would seem to be a vision-intensive task. But looking at explicit clips can actually quiet the part of the brain that processes visual stimuli.
Most of the time, watching movies or conducting any other visual task sends extra blood flow to this brain region. Not so when the movies are sex-intensive.
Instead, the brain seems to shunt blood, therefore energy, elsewhere, perhaps to regions of the brain responsible for sexual arousal.
It turns out that the brain may not need to take in all the visual details of a sex scene.
If you look at your computer and you have to write something or whatever, then you have to look specifically and carefully at what you’re doing because if you don’t, it means you make mistakes.
But the moment you are watching explicit sex movies, that’s not necessary, because you know exactly what’s going on. It’s not important if the door is green or yellow.
Relax When You Want to Come
Porn can help you become comfortable with a particular fantasy they or your partner may have. It can reboot a couple’s sex life. It can give you ideas, or help you get in touch with what turns you on.
Porn can deliver you there at best, or disgust you at worst. It all depends on what you choose to watch. With the availability of porn online, it’s possible to sample enough porn quickly that you don’t have to find yourself watching wall-to-wall hard-core sex if it’s plot driven erotica that appeals to you. You’re only a victim of bad porn if you let yourself be.
Don’t believe in porn addiction. Unlike a chemical substance, like opiates, you can’t become “addicted” to sex or porn; you can become a compulsive viewer.
In this case, it’s not the porn that’s the problem; it’s the compulsive personality. If it weren’t porn being used to act out one’s compulsive nature, it might be food or some other behavior.
Anxiety & Arousal
The brain can either be anxious or aroused (or neither), but not both. During orgasm, he has found, activity in brain regions associated with anxiety plummets.
This phenomenon may explain why women with low levels of sexual desire often have high levels of anxiety. It makes sense. If you’re looking around, focusing on visual details, scanning for danger, it may not be so easy to focus on arousal.
If you yourself are in a very dangerous situation, whatever the reason, you don’t have sexual feelings, because you have to survive for yourself, not survive for the species.
The results suggest that the brain is focusing on sexual arousal as more important than visual processing during the x-rated films.
The brain needs to spare as much energy as possible, so if some part of it isn’t necessary at a high level of functioning, it immediately goes down.
The findings have implications for sexual dysfunction. They paint a picture of the brain in which safety is paramount and anxiety is a libido-killer.
If a man wants to have sex, he needs to create a safe situation for the woman.