I Like a Man with a Slow Hand
Rushing straight to sex is a complete mood-killer.
You need to heighten the tension,
create the desire and then prolong it.
The whole point of foreplay is to persuade
your partner she wants sex, but then delay
the gratification to make her want it even more.
Stretch it out. Touch, tease and rouse.
Your partner will be able to last longer.
Turn a quick fuck into a long, sensual experience.
This Is How We Come
Tantric sex is slower and more sensual than ‘ordinary sex’. Rather than being focused on orgasms, it encourages you to be meditative and aware during the sexual experience.
But the most exciting thing is that Tantra promises longer, full-body orgasms that will make sex mind-blowing!
Assume a comfortable position for exchanging energies. We recommend the male sitting in a half lotus and the female sitting in his lap, her legs wrapped around his thighs.
Look into your partner’s eyes. Send joy and energy through your gaze. Insert your penis into her vagina. If her PC muscle is strong, she can hold you tightly.
Allow yourselves to rock, establishing a gentle rhythm. Slowly stop thrusting, hold heer close to your chest and place your cheek against hers, your nose close to her ear. In this position, her nose should also be close to your ear.
Listen to each other’s breathing. You may inhale and exhale together or as in tantric tradition, one may inhale while the other exhales almost as if you are taking in each other’s breath.
Both of you should draw the energy from your genitals up to your head andthen down. Up, then Down. While you are inhaling, envision the energy being drawn from her vagina into your penis, around the perineum up the sacrum, up your spine, to the crown of your head.
Now exhale and let the energy descend down to your tongue. If your tongue is touching your partner’s, exchange the energy.
Bring the energy down to your navel. Exchange the energy. Circulate it as many times as you like. Begin to visualize an infinite cycle of energy that moves all around your body in opposite directions.
Gradually a feeling of harmony will emerge. You’ll begin to lose your ideas of “doing”. You’ll fall under the spell of ‘Yin’ energy. You are between Yin and Yang now. No one is leading. No one is following.
Eventually you will get the impression that you are one breath, one energy, one orgasm. You won’t know who is male and who is female.
Stay like this for some time. You can talk, exchanging confidences. When you come, never try to possess it. It will disappear the moment you try to keep it in your grasp.
The Two-Minute Man
It’s true that women find it far harder than men to reach an orgasm. They aren’t as easily aroused, they take far longer to climax and they find it more difficult to get there.
The female orgasm is purely about pleasure. A guy’s orgasm has one function: getting his sperm to the egg. Do women get a raw deal when it comes to orgasms or are they actually better off?
When it comes to sex women are running a marathon while men are in a sprint. Most guys take around two minutes from penetration to ejaculation.
Once he’s dispatched the sperm, his plugin needs to rest (it’s called the refractory period) for anything from 20 minutes to two days before it’s operationally ready again.
Not only do guys get aroused at the drop of a skirt but within two minutes it’s all over. The final ignominy: He falls asleep, thanks to sex depleting his glycogen stores.
Most women take 20-40 minutes to reach a climax. And for 70 percent of women, this means direct, ongoing stimulation of the clitoris. Only about 30 percent of women can orgasm through penetrative intercourse.
This is because stimulation of the clitoris is the trigger of orgasms in women – yet it is located outside of the vagina, which means it barely gets a nod of recognition in traditional intercourse.