Not everyone masturbates, but if you do, no matter
what your age or relationship situation, it’s
perfectly fine and normal.
Masturbation is our original sexuality. It’s one of
the first ways children learn to experience pleasure.
Left to themselves, children are enthusiastic masturbators.
Why not? It’s such fun. Kids stop masturbating
(or more often retreat into secrecy) largely because
adults admonish them that it’s shameful or a sin.
Indulge in Masturbation
What I told my kids: It’s enjoyable and perfectly normal, like going to the bathroom. But like bathroom activities, it’s best done in private.
Masturbation causes neither physical nor psychological harm. Forget everything you ever heard about hair on the palms, mental health problems, or anything else. The main issue is the guilt many people feel after a youth spent hearing that it’s evil or perverted.
It isn’t. Every sex expert agrees: Masturbation is normal and healthy and key to sex therapy for a variety of sex problems, notably helping pre-orgasmic women learn how to experience orgasm and helping men learn ejaculatory control.
Regular masturbation—by hand or with a vibrator—is extremely unlikely to damage the genitals. Your biggest risk is a little chafing of tender genital skin during extended sessions. The solution: A lubricant. Try saliva, vegetable oil, or a commercial lube.
Masturbation does not use you up sexually, even if you do it more than once a day. At birth, you’re not granted some predetermined number of orgasms, and once you run through them, that’s it.
There is no limit to the number of orgasms people can experience. There may be a limit to the number you want, but you can have as many as your body desires.
In men, masturbation does not use up your sperm or semen. The testicles are always making sperm and the prostate gland and men’s other reproductive glands are always making seminal fluid. The only way men run short on sperm is if they become sterile.
The only way men run out of semen is if they have their prostates removed, and even then they can still masturbate to orgasm.
Some women fear that masturbation with a vibrator might “ruin” them for sex without the intense stimulation vibrators provide. Relax. Does driving ruin you for walking? No, it just gets you there faster. The same is true for sex with and without vibrators.
The vulva, clitoris, nipples, and other parts of the female body respond to erotic stimulation no matter what its source: fingers, tongue, penis, or vibrator.
Vibrators produce the most intense sensations, so most women reach orgasm faster that way than with other stimulation. But using a vibrator, even frequently, does not change your body’s ability to respond to other types of erotic stimulation.
Some women fear that they might become “addicted” to their vibrators. No way. Over time, some women become particularly fond of vibrator stimulation.
That’s a personal preference, not an addiction. In fact, far from ruining women for sex that does not include them, vibrators actually help women respond to other forms of erotic stimulation because vibrators allow them to experience the full range of their sexual responsiveness.
Greater sexual self-knowledge learned with a vibrator usually helps women respond to other types of sexual stimulation.
Although the path to achieving orgasm varies for
every woman, one fact remains: it is possible
to get there in a variety of ways.
Even if the guy finishes while you’re still in the
buildup phase, you can still probably orgasm after sex.
In fact, thinking outside of the PIV [penis in vagina] box
is a good way to spice things up for both of you.
Orgasms are great no matter how they are induced, right?