Tantric sex is an ancient Hindu practice.
Tantra means ‘the weaving and expansion of energy’
which encapsulates an entire body of divine
teaching going back centuries. [cont’d below]
Keep on Coming
The key is not to focus too closely on your orgasm. Instead prolong the foreplay for as long as possible before taking sex to its natural end.
Delaying orgasm can be difficult for some people, particularly men – but it can be done using a variety of techniques including meditation, breathing exercises and massage.
There are several key steps to Tantric bliss:
1. Loosen your body: Tantra is about moving energy through the body, so shake your limbs vigorously to energise and unblock your system before you start.
2. Stay off the bed. This will trigger the sleep button in your brain. Tantra is not about a quick romp. Get comfortable by lying on the floor with your partner using some cushions.
3. Whisper dirty talk in your partner’s ear, massage the head, neck, hands and feet to make your sense of touch go wild.
4. Now get even more intimate. Sit face-to-face with the woman on the man’s lap. Wrap your hands tightly around each other and press your bodies against each other. This kind of skin contact promotes greater feelings of intimacy.
5. Let the foreplay become more intimate. Take your time and leisurely make your way around her body. Try a variety of touches – firm massage, light feathery touches, and gentle stroking.
The aim here is to heighten your lover’s senses in a slow and intense way so that you’re building them up to a peak but stopping just short before the orgasm.
7. Oral sex now is fine – but not to the point of climax. We are aiming to make the pleasure last for hours.
8. Progress beyond foreplay to intercourse. Avoid any position that you know makes you orgasm easily. Work towards a gradual build-up of pleasure. The slower you take it, the more intense the orgasm will be at the end.
9. As you are both reaching orgasm, slow your breathing down. This will seem illogical – most of us breath more quickly as we approach climax.
10. Women can tense up at this stage of sex as they try to make themselves come. Instead, relax your tummy and take long, slow deep breaths. Your orgasm will last longer and be more intense.
Don’t Forget Foreplay
Warm up Before the Main Event
If you’re one of those men who thinks foreplay is a quaint, long-forgotten tradition you need to wise up.
If you don’t commit to a decent amount of pre-sex fun then your girl probably won’t come and you will be placed into her book of “bad lays”.
So how long should you spend getting ready for the main event? Well, on average people spend 19.7 minutes on foreplay. Although this may seem a lot, remember foreplay can begin outside of the bedroom and doesn’t have to be focused on your girl’s hotspots.
In fact, it’s best if you avoid your girl’s main erogenous zones to begin with and instead touch her in the not-so-obvious places. Her back and feet are good places to begin. For example, you could offer to give her a back massage whilst watching TV.
Once this base layer of intimacy is laid you can then escalate to the raunchier moves and then move onto sex. Building up your intimacy in this way will maximise your girl’s chances of hitting the high notes.
Because a lot of men worry about losing an erection, they tend to sometimes rush to penetration. They skip foreplay or make it extremely brief because they’re just thinking about maintaining that erection above all else.
It is as if the act of sex is a performance and they will be judged on the quality and longevity of their erection.
The irony is that, if you please your woman in other ways, she doesn’t care how hard you are and the imaginary American Erection judges vanish.
We can also blame popular culture for the wham-bam approach. How many quickie sex scenes (on the train, in the bathroom, on the kitchen table?) have you seen in movies and TV series?
They rarely show the woman’s frustration afterwards. It slows down the plot. But there is no downside to slowing down the storyline in reality sex. There may be fringe benefits for future fucks. Most women like a man who takes his time.
Foreplay is especially important for women. Once men have an erection, they are pretty much ready to go. Women on the other hand need some time to get in the mood, both emotionally and physically.
Their vaginas need to get wet, so that it won’t hurt when the penis slips inside. So rushing it is not a good idea if both of you want enjoyable, pain and cringe-free sex!
Many women don’t regularly have an orgasm during intercourse, which maybe means foreplay time is orgasm time! Especially if you have the kind of partner who tends to roll over and snore after his own climax rather than taking the time to pleasure you.
Don’t Overdo It
OK, so foreplay is fun, great and important. Does that mean you should keep going, and going, and going as long as you can? Well not if you want to have intercourse too.
If the man has some trouble with coming sooner than he’d like, having steamy foreplay for a long time could mean that he will ejaculate before you move on to intercourse, or come straight away when you do.
Or on the other hand he could try to hold back but ejaculate just a little bit and then have trouble climaxing ‘properly’ later on.
There is no perfect amount of time for foreplay. Everyone is different. Sometimes you may feel like more foreplay than on other occasions.
Don’t Think Foreplay Only Happens in Bed
Foreplay doesn’t have to begin only once the two of you are horizontal. Foreplay can start much earlier. It can start with a deep, longing look into each other’s eyes, with a not-so-accidental touch or with a demanding kiss.
Even flirting and teasing with words can be part of foreplay. And we don’t just mean dirty talk. Letting someone know you are attracted to them and would like to make love to them can be very sexy and a huge turn on.
But just as with physical foreplay, watch your partner’s reactions. If what you are doing and saying makes them uncomfortable, stop! And if they like it, keep going… and enjoy the foreplay!