Play with a Teenage Girl
You’ll know you’re doing it right when she bucks
her hips up toward you, when a whimper escapes her
lips because she just wants more. Keep in mind.
She’s a puppy. Play but no rough stuff yet.
Teens Need Sexual Experience
Teens in Provocative Dress
How to Handle
Strip them naked and have them lie down in a bed. It’s important to remove as many unnecessary distractions as possible, particularly sensory inputs
Cover their eyes with a tie or scarf. If you’re really fancy, make them wear earplugs. Just by cutting off sight and sound, their body will already be more sensitive. Now grab something light and soft, preferably a feather.
Begin by devoting some time to often-neglected spots like the ears, armpits, inner elbows and feet. Trail the feather or lightly blow along their limbs, tracing patterns.
Watch their skin burst into goosebumps. Revel in the tiny hairs that stand to your attention. When in doubt, be gentle, go slow and tease them.
Let their body wake up in your hands. Nibble on their ears, plant tiny kisses on their pelvis, go down on them (gently, slowly!).
Don’t do any one thing for too long. Every move should be a surprise, especially since they can’t see where you’ll touch them next.
You’ll know you’re doing it right when they buck their hips up toward you, when a whimper escapes their lips because they just want more. Don’t give it to them just yet.
The fun is in the longing. Pleasure them with your fingers and mouth, taking frequent breaks to tease elsewhere. If they come, cool. If they don’t, cool.
Don’t force it, and whatever you do, do not go fast and hard. It completely undoes all the work of getting them in this sensitive, seductive place.
Switch places. Repeat. Lie back and enjoy. Have sex if you want. Go slow. Don’t worry about the orgasm.
This isn’t about the end goal but rather the tantalizing journey there. You might be frustrated if you don’t climax or if you just want to resort to the tried-and-true method.
If you keep doing this, keep approaching your sex life with a gentler touch, I promise a feather, some cool air and a teasing tongue will turn you on more than any of that wham-bam porn you watch online.
Do We Over-Protect
Teenage Girls from Sex?
The way we try to protect girls from so-called sexual predators might actually be preventing them from having experiences, making mistakes and really living their lives.
Of course it’s a different story for boys. Male sexuality apparently doesn’t need to be protected. We smile when we hear stories of people such as Lord Byron, or more recently US rapper Chris Brown – who both lost their virginity before the age of 12. Imagine the sympathetic tones that we’d adopt if the genders of these high profile figures were reversed.
Let Girls Have
So why do we treat early male sexual encounters as so much less shocking than female?
Despite all the ways in which sex has changed in the last hundred years, we persist in thinking of boys as randy little buggers who want sex, and girls as delicate little flowers who are victims.
The desire to protect young women from abusive or predatory sexual relationships is a noble sentiment, and one that no reasonable person could disparage.
But is it possible that this sentiment, whatever its merit, could be depriving young women of their right to have gratifying sexual relationships in their sexual infancy, and keeping them from the essential right of passage of making mistakes?
Assuming that any teenage girl who has a sexual relationship with someone who is older than her is automatically a victim denies the uncomfortable truth that girls have sexual agency. They have desires just as boys do, and they have the right to seek gratification for those urges.
And sometimes the sex that you want as a teenager turns out to have been a poor choice. But getting things wrong is how we learn to walk, talk, read and eventually how we learn to carry on meaningful sexual and romantic relationships.
We have become increasingly litigious as a society, and that’s echoed in our attitude towards teenage sex. It’s completely right that those people who take advantage sexually of young people should suffer for their actions. But should legal recourse be the first reaction?
I’ve written in the past about how it is safe to assume abuse in a wide age-gap relationship. But I can’t help but wonder if perhaps I’ve disregarded female agency in my assumption of abuse.
Perhaps a better system than legislating for teenage sex would be to create a better culture of honestly between teenagers and their parents, teachers and role models.
If young women felt that they could open a dialogue without fear of recourse, it would be infinitely easier to monitor relationships that were abusive, thus allowing space for those that are not.
When the Netherlands is praised for its low teen pregnancy rates – it’s usually attributed to the country’s decent sex education and readily available contraception.
Rarely does anyone mention that Dutch parents actively encourage an open dialogue about sexual relationships with their children.
Not all teenage girls who have sex with older partners end up feeling that they have been abused. There is a difference between a sexual experience that was in retrospect a mistake, and a sexual experience that was abuse.
Most young women are capable of telling the difference between the two, if we just allow them the freedom to do so.