Watching sexy movies and TV shows or accessing sexually
explicit content online may influence how teens have sex.
Those who watch sexually explicit media are more likely than
other teens to have sex for money and to try new sexual behavior.
As porn becomes more pervasive, women are now
also using it as a quick way to have sex without
emotional investment, just as men traditionally have.
Sex is a natural function. What is an abnormal level
of sex to have or to want? If a woman is taking
two minutes to orgasm to porn, and she’s doing it,
say, 10 times a day, that’s still only 20 minutes a day.
Are You Watching Porn Behind Her Back?
In a relationship one person’s porn fetish
may be another’s pain the the ass.
At the same time, some couples see it
as healthy, even therapeutic. But when
you’re hiding it can be damaging.
A Woman’s Perspective
We have some ground rules: no interacting directly
with anyone on or offline, nothing violent.
If it messes with our sex life, we need to re-evaluate
pronto. Other than that, my husband watches porn and
frequently jerks off. I’m pretty relaxed about it.
I consider myself someone who has a pretty normal sex drive.
I’ve always been in touch with my sexuality.
I’ve masturbated since I was pretty young. I’m really awesome
at getting myself off, and I do it whenever I feel like it.
But my husband is different. Masturbation, to him,
has always been somewhat of a ritual. He does it
because he enjoys it, but also because it calms him,
helps him deal with stress, and helps him fall asleep.
I would say his sex drive is quite high; sexual thoughts
and feelings occupy a lot of real estate in his mind.
Women Chase More Sex
Throughout history, female desire has been portrayed
as one of the most destabilising and dangerous forces.
Even after the sexual revolution of the ’60s, lusty
women still tend to be slut-shamed by their peers
and put down by popular culture.
We should pull back the societal veil on female sexual urges,
to argue that our post-feminist, scientifically advanced age
still gets the issue all wrong—and that women are even more
animalistic, promiscuous, and dependent upon sexual novelty than men.
We need to pick apart our deep-seated belief
that monogamy is the natural domain of women
and that females are uniquely qualified to thrive
inside of a long-lasting commitment to only one sexual partner.
Female Lust & Evolutionary Promiscuity
Women are built to be just as horny as men. That their arousal, measured by blood flow to the vagina in a lab, spikes while watching hard-core pornography.
Of course, my survey is more than a little voyeuristic. Whether I’m interviewing women about their darkest fantasies or watching a tantric expert bring herself to climax, my accounts of these moments often read like erotica, so much that the reader can’t help but wonder about a my motivations for writing this book.
Perhaps I’m onto something when I claim women also crave sexual novelty—and that they struggle with monogamy just as much as their male counterparts.
Take, for example, a woman who signed up for a trial of a female arousal drug out of desperation—she wanted to “get her freak back” in the bedroom with her partner of seven years.
And then there’s the issue of multiple orgasms. It was evolution’s method of making sure that females are libertines, that they move efficiently from one round of sex to the next and frequently from one partner to the next, that they transfer the turn-on of one encounter to the stimulating of the next, building towards climax.”
Here we finally have the real problem with female lust. It takes a sharp nosedive in monogamous relationships.
The implication is that if only the wives were more enthusiastic about having sex with their husbands, the thorny mystery that is monogamy would be solved (or, at least, improved).
