Do it Girl. Pleasure Yourself
Carry on Masturbating
Masturbation releases stress. Many people masturbate to relax.
Some people even find it helps them fall asleep.
Orgasms — no matter how they happen — can act as a natural
painkiller and even help with period cramps.
Mutual masturbation (masturbating with a partner) is a great way
to have safer sex while showing the other person what feels good.
Masturbation plays a crucial role in helping
people understand what they enjoy sexually
and how to achieve sexual pleasure.
When young people (especially people with vulvas)
learn about their own genitals through self touch
they are much more likely to be clear about what
they want and like from and with their partners.
By skipping over this topic in sex education we’re
missing a big opportunity to empower young people.
The Art of Self-Pleasure
I remember how exploring my sexuality at a young
age has led to my current relationship with sex
and my knowledge of masturbation.
Gustav Klimt – Masturbation
One day when I was around 7 years old, I used my
fingers to spread apart the skin between my legs
and feeling the softness of my vulva.
As my finger pushed harder and quicker,
each touch magnified an intense yet
comforting sensation. My breath deepened
and relaxation washed over me.
Always a fan of pleasuring myself for the sake
of the greater good — and I’m between relationships,
so why the hell not make myself happy?
I spent a week masturbating to better inform you on
what it’s like and for the greater good of science[!]
After a week of letting my fingers call the shots,
I realised that the overall effects were minimal
and were more noticeable after a morning
masturbation session than an evening one.
After getting a little action in the morning,
I felt a bit more focused and determined
throughout the day, but only to the point of
getting one or two more tasks completed.
Another surprising side effect? I found myself
making better choices for my body. I chose workout
classes over wine glasses and I ate more moderately.
Getting off in the morning probably just made me
feel sexier, and I am sure coupling that feeling
with my recent weight loss just subconsciously helped.
It’s an activity which makes you feel great, costs no money,
and doesn’t damage your health. What’s not to love?
Yet it’s very easy to fall into a wanking rut,
where you do the same old routine, bring
yourself to a nice if unexciting orgasm and then
get on with whatever you were doing before.
We want better than that for you. We want you
to have an earth shattering climax.
Encourage Girls to Masturbate
Self-Pleasure for Girls
There’s a broadly-held cultural belief that during adolescence only teenage boys are interested in or curious about sex. We often subconsciously restrict the sexuality of the girls around us by assuming they are passive and unreceptive.
Although the capacity for sexual fascination belongs to the female of the species too we are not socialised into really taking that as a biological and psychosexual fact.
Our society at large is in denial about teenage sexuality, holding firmly on to a draconian social construct that childhood (up till age 18) is a magical time of asexual innocence despite ample evidence to the contrary.
Yet as we began unpacking this novel idea, the situation became more difficult to neatly package into a ‘correct’ and easy answer for parents, educators and learners.
We should be ‘teaching’ girls how to masturbate. It seems like a controversial thing to say. The ‘un-harnessing’ of teenage sexuality seems detrimental and terrifying; counter intuitive to our initial instinct to shield under 18s from explicit ‘adult’ themes.
We tend to advise teenage girls not to indulge in any sexual activity at all. But masturbation and sensuality is an important and integral part of a healthy girl’s life.
Girls who are active sexual agents (i.e. empowered, sexually intelligent critical thinkers) are far more able to make smart decisions about their sexuality when it comes to partnered sex and relationships in general.
They know that there is a difference between love and lust – and that they have a right to feel, own and refuse both. Sex education would do well to address and discuss topics like female masturbation in a supportive, open platform.
I understand the implications of getting ‘hot and heavy’ and how difficult it is to make rational decisions in the heat of the moment. Any ‘heavy petting may lead to seat wetting’.
It’s often easier to remain on the safe side and advise more cautionary action – rather than having to deal with large consequences (like STIs, unplanned pregnancy or coercive or negative sexual experiences later on.
After I left the education workshop a gnawing little voice in my head wouldn’t leave me alone. It kept drawing me back to the idea that our attempts to nurture are actually potentially dangerous acts of denial and restriction.
It’s easier for us to believe that none of our girls are sexual, or desire to be. But blindly perpetuating such a limited gender double standard doesn’t protect girls. It simply leaves them ill-equipped to negotiate life’s sexual scenarios.