Why Don’t We Do It on the Sofa?
A new sex position can stoke
the imagination and keep his
penis hard. He’ll strut like
a [pea]cock again
The penis is a creature easily
bored by the rut of routine.
Let’s say that you and your guy have a hot
groove going on when it comes to your sex lives.
You get freaky regularly. Because you know
what turns each other on, your sex sessions
all look pretty identical.
If he is having a hard time keeping his penis
hard during sex, it could be a fix as simple
as changing what the two of you are doing in bed.
New sex positions can stoke the imagination and keep
his penis hard, by keeping his penis more “in the
action” than it has been before.
If you usually stick to stuff like missionary,
or if you always have sex in bed, why not spice
things up and work in a new sex position like
reverse cowgirl with you on top?
Just moving locations, say, from the bedroom to
that super soft rug in the living room can be
all the erotic enticement he needs to make his
penis stand to attention once more!
Women Bored with Sex
They are far more likely to lose interest in sex
with their partners. This doesn’t necessarily
translate into infidelity, a choice many reject
because it’s so hurtful. But spouse-weary women
often just avoid sex altogether.
Since its beginnings, when it was called “sociobiology,”
evolutionary psychology has been wed to the theory
that women are monogamous and men are promiscuous.
Men have a compunction to spread their seed while
women instinctively want to lock some guy down
to raise her children.
Feminist attempts to create sexual equality
between men and women were doomed to fail,
because they went against biology. Shrugging
was encouraged, and the term “hard-wired” was mandatory.
But now the evidence is beginning to trickle in, and
one sticky fact has thrown this entire theory into jeopardy:
It’s women and not men who get bored with monogamy faster.
Women respond to
novelty in pornographic
fantasies
They’re much more turned on by fantasies of sex
with strangers than friends. You’d be forgiven
for concluding that the gender most interested
in mixing it up might be women.
What’s really fascinating is that with this shift
in understanding comes a profound shift in how we
as a society are deciding to respond.
There will be no shrugging of the shoulders
and tossing around the word “hard-wired” to
rationalize women disappointing male expectations
of passionate monogamous sex.
Many women want monogamy. It’s a cozy arrangement,
and one our culture endorses, to put it mildly.
But wanting monogamy isn’t the same as feeling desire
in a long-term monogamous partnership.
Women disproportionately present with lower sexual desire
than their male partners of a year or more, and in the
longer term as well. The complaint has historically been
attributed to a lower baseline libido for women, but
that explanation conveniently ignores that women regularly
start relationships equally as excited for sex.
Women in long-term, committed heterosexual partnerships
might think they’ve “gone off” sex—but it’s more that they’ve
gone off the same sex with the same person over and over.
Sex Is Bound
to Get Boring
When I first met my partner three years ago,
our sex life was on fire. We were one of those
couples who couldn’t keep our hands off each other.
We had sex every day and stopped at street corners
to kiss. It was obnoxious, really — at least to
other people. For us, it was great.
Then, things got boring pretty fast.
Stop The Boredom!
Change Partners!
A majority of women complain their sex lives
are way too predictable, based on location,
position, time of day, duration and foreplay.
The whole sex routine gets
so boring. Same setting, same
man, same time, same position.
He comes, I go to the bathroom
and masturbate. Yawn…another
‘making love’ session is over.
Why can’t we just Fuck? Whenever, however,
wherever and [most important] whoever?
Most people in sexual partnerships
for some time face the conundrum
called “habituation to a stimulus”.
Everything becomes routine, even sex.
It seems heterosexual women, on average are
likely to face this problem earlier in the
relationship than men.
It doesn’t even out over time. In general,
men can manage with the way things are,
while women struggle with it.
Be honest. You fantasise about
having sex with somebody else.
Clearly, women in monogamous relationships
are bored to death. It seems monogamy equals
monotony when it comes to what’s happening
(or not happening) between the sheets.
And maybe it’s the fact that it’s
always happening between the sheets
that’s the problem to begin with.
Where’s the fun? The spontaneity?
The excitement that comes with
secretly sleeping with some young
Brad Pitt in the stables?
Or picking up a boy at a concert and
fucking him on the back seat of your car?