Snatch, Gash & Slit

Her ‘Gash’ [Cunt]

Why are there no good other words for vagina when
it comes to sex slang? There are a couple of cool
options for penis: Dick. Cock. Both work just fine.

Here’s a theory: too many vagina descriptors are
creepy or gross-sounding. Consider snatch, gash and
slit. Anyone for hatchet wound? No? Didn’t think so.

jenny gives us a glimpse

I never thought it would be possible to be jealous
of another girl’s anatomy, but after having been
forced to change pre-gym class in front of all
girls (some of whom didn’t care for underwear),
it definitely had me blushing at the sight of my own.

In fact, there are a lot of different shapes, sizes
and slits way different from my girl downstairs
and the ones I watch in porn.

If guys can examine, compare and talk their dick
talk in the locker rooms, why should us girls
feel any different about taking a look down
under our skirts for a change?

So grab a mirror and find out which of
these vagina types belong to you.

The slit

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Simple and sweet

This one happens to be mine. I call her Sheila, and surprisingly, it’s one of the most uncommon vagina types. Go figure. When I was young and naiive, I always thought that my slit was temporary and that it would grow into a fatter, plumper vag as I got older—not the case.

Essentially, the slit vagina hides the entire labia minora (a.k.a the inner lips) with the labia majora, or the outer lips and unless you spread ’em, it’ll stay hidden. Despite the fact that your vagina type is completely dependent on genetics, I like to think of the slit as the biggest tease of all.

The curtain call

The curtain call is similar to an actual curtain. The labia minora extends past the labia majora, appearing as if someone is peeping through a curtain. It’s pretty case by case, but the labia minora can either peek out by just a tad, or it can look like it’s making an escape from vaginal prison.

The flower petal

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Think pink!

This kind of vagina literally looks like a flower, particularly a tulip. Your labia minora looks like it’s about to bloom from your pussy and only slightly exposed from your outer lips. While not as out and about as the curtain call vagina, the labia minora is visible, but contained. Your cous cous kind of has it all.

The Peace Sign

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Kill ’em with that cooch

Similarly to this motion we use to let people know it’s going down, the vagina spreads wider at the top, revealing the labia minora at the immediate opening and it then closes off at the bottom. This vagina type exposes the labia minora more, making it tough to hide in your bikini bottoms, but that’s all part of the tease. *wink*

The Camel Toe

Oooh, girl.

You’ve got a fatty, girl! While the camel toe cunt is almost identical to the slit, the camel has visibly larger lips. Some of my friends with this vagina type have felt insecure about it when summer time comes around, because they know throwing on a pair of tight leggings, or high-waisted denim shorts, will never fail to give them a vaginal wedgy.

Thanks to little or no access to sex education, people have really idiotic ideas about how penetrative sex drastically alters your vagina. The long and terrible history of lies about what happens to a vagina post intercourse (spoiler: not much)

The vagina can stretch in size for different reasons, such as sex and childbirth, but it doesn’t stay that way,”

After the fact, it returns to its normal size, kind of like an elastic band. Some people believe slut-shaming myths like if a woman has sex, her vagina becomes ‘loose.’ This is not true.”

And your labia — the part of your vagina that is represented by the sandwich meat in the photo – isn’t going through the changes that these myths insist on perpetuating at all.

The only thing guaranteed to change your resilient, excellent, wonderful vagina is the birth of an actual, new human.

High School Girls
[Irresistible Attraction]

Mid-to-late adolescent girls [boys too] have physical
characteristics near (or, in some cases, identical)
to that of fully-grown adults. Most men [straight and gay]
find this age group sexually attractive.


Sexual Awakening

A few days ago one of the lower classes whom I’d offended called me a freak, pornographer and borderline paedophile. Obviously a tabloid follower. I assume he said it as an insult. I took it as a pretty accurate description of my hobbyist tendencies.

Borderline? Let’s be more precise.

“That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. As I get older, they stay the same age.” — Wooderson, Dazed and Confused

If you want to label me, try ephebophile. I’m sexually attracted to late-adolescent girls.

It’s invariably confused with paedophile, someone who is attracted to prepubescent girls.

Twink is a gay slang term used to refer to a young (18 to early 20s) boy with certain characteristics.

He has an effeminate manner, a thin build, no body or facial hair, which all contribute to a youthful look.

Then there’s the hebephile, someone who’s attracted to early adolescent girls.

The term has been described by Frenchman Félix Buffière in 1980, and Pakistani scholar Tariq Rahman.

They argued that ephebophilia should be especially used with regard to homosexuality when describing the aesthetic and erotic interest of adult men in adolescent boys in classical Persian, Turkish, or Urdu literature.

The term was additionally revived by Ray Blanchard to denote adults who sexually prefer 15- to 19-year-olds. That just about describes me. Current slang calls us febophiles. Is there a man who isn’t, both gay and straight?


Mid-to-late adolescents usually have physical characteristics near (or, in some cases, identical) to that of fully-grown adults; psychiatrist and sexologist Fred Berlin states that most men can find persons in this age group sexually attractive.

That doesn’t mean they’re going to act on it. Some men who become involved with teenagers may not have a particular disorder. Opportunity and other factors may have contributed to their behaving in the way they do.

Ephebophilia is used only to describe the preference for mid-to-late adolescent sexual partners, not the mere presence of some level of sexual attraction. Generally, the preference is not regarded by psychologists as a pathology.

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