Playing with Pussy
The Vulva and sexual arousal results in a number of
physical changes in the vulva. Arousal may be broken up
into four phases: Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm, and Resolution.
Vaginal lubrication begins first. This is caused by
vasocongestion of the vaginal walls. Increased blood
pooling there causes moisture to seep from the vaginal walls.
These droplets collect together and flow out of the vagina,
moistening the vulva. The labia majora flatten and spread apart,
and the clitoris and labia minora increase in size.
QUESTION: My girlfriend has lots of body issues, including with the way things look ‘down there’. She’s even considered surgery. I feel sad and frustrated because no matter what I say, she won’t believe nothing’s wrong. What can I do to help her out?
ANSWER: This must be frustrating. It’s really hard to make someone believe that they look/taste/feel/smell/are normal because the rest of society, for the past like, 2,000 years, has actively done everything in its power to ingrain in us the exact opposite of that truth.
You’re not just fighting your girlfriend’s body image issues, You’re fighting hundreds of centuries of patriarchy and pure evil itself! You’re like a brave knight! A Knight of Vulval Confidence and Truth Empowerment. You deserve a sword.
Enforcing body confidence is a covert, subliminal activity that requires a special kind of bludgeoning finesse. You can’t just say “your vulva looks absolutely normal!”
That would backfire, because then she’d have a) the body issues and b) the pressure to make you happy via not having the body issues. So it’d be like she failed twice, you know?
So avoid making her feel like she should love her body and instead just love it for her. Love her enough for the two of you until she catches on.
Have you ever been with someone who never ever fucking ever told you that your outfit was cute when you were about to leave the house? Like, ever? Don’t be that girl.
Stuff like that actually matters more to overall confidence than you think it would. Be the girl who loves the outfit so much that she can’t stop herself from saying something about it, and then love everything else, too.
Try to be as genuine as possible, but also it’s pretty easy to find something positive to say about almost anything.
Having someone give you constant positive reinforcement eventually seems to nudge even the most body-conscious person toward acceptance and confidence, at the very least within the confines of that relationship.
The negative feelings women have about their vulva come from thinking that you’re the one person who looks different and everyone else looks the same/similar.
It’s isolating, and I’m not entirely sure how to make someone feel less isolated without physically showing them that they’re not the only ones who look the way they do.
China Sex Doll
Invitation to Mount Her
Ready to Be Ravished
Sex, Fems & Capital
We need a feminism which doesn’t moralize about women’s sexual desires. One which insists acting on those desires is morally constrained only by the boundaries of consent.
Moralizing has often been used as a way to exclude, to scold and to discipline, wrongly imposing our ‘personal’ choices and ways of seeing onto others.
Laws enacted in the name of vulnerable and marginalized groups were, in actual practice, used against them. Harming sex workers, buttressing the state’s police power, outlawing porn produced by sexual minorities while leaving mainstream pornography “untouched.”
But by focusing so narrowly on the matter of consent, feminism may have lost its purchase on some other fundamental issues.
Sex is no longer morally problematic or unproblematic. Instead merely wanted or unwanted. We want what we want because we want it — treating the norms of sex like the norms of capitalist free exchange.
We ask only whether the parties involved agreed to the transaction; we neglect to ask about the forces that shape whatever they expected and desired in the first place.