Her Sexual ‘Performance’

Does She Act During Sex?

The way you squirm, the way you moan,
being super-excited about everything the guy
wants to do, and always being up for it.

When people think about ‘good in bed’,
you have to admire women. They’ve learned
the part they’re expected to play by heart.

It’s so easy to perform during sex.

Even before I started having sex, I knew exactly
what I was supposed to look like during intercourse.

I don’t know how I internalized those images.
Some of them through porn, I suppose, or art
or erotica. Some of them by reading sex tips
on the Internet or sex gossip with friends.

Before I had any actual sexual partners, I knew how
to give a good blowjob. I also knew how to tilt my
head back and moan, and I knew how to twist my body.

I knew what my reactions and expressions were supposed
to look and sound like. I knew all those things much
better than I knew what would make me react.

My sexuality was mostly performance: an image.
An act, a shell that I created. I knew it was
hot for my partners. Wasn’t it what men expected?